George "You're No Good You're No Good You're No Good Baby You're No Good I'm Gonna Say It Again" Sibley sits across the kitchen table from Ruth. He tells her, "I'm going to be gone all day tomorrow." Ruth takes a sharp breath on her way to asking a question, I'm sure, and then quietly decides against it with a demure, wifely "Okay." He volunteers that he's going fossil hunting, and he asks her to come with him "if you wouldn't find it too boring." I find knowing this activity exists too boring, and Ruth concurs with me, responding, "I have to return some books at the library." Heh. Good one. She adds that he doesn't need to invite her, momentarily pretending that she's not, well, her, when she advises, "You can do whatever you want, whenever you want, with whomever you want." She's not threatened by other women. It's hard to climb into caves when you're a head in a jar. But then she busts out, almost yelling, "But I want to go fossil hunting, so I will go fossil hunting, darn it." Lorelai is pretty.
Michelle Trachtenberg sits at her dressing room dressing table in a bit of a snit, rummaging through tons of pre-Bedazzled costume trinkets, braying, "It's my favorite earring." Javier walks in just then and tells her they've got a whole detail of people looking for it, but Michelle just whines, "It was given to me by the only person who ever really, really loved me." Yes. But Aaron Carter is with someone else now. "And now it's lost." Like Britney's virginity. In 1990. "Oh, my God. When will someone ever love me again?" Awwww. Don't worry, Michelle. Maybe you can meet somebody new in acting class. "Everyone else has someone." I have Lorelai. She's so pretty. "Here is the entire universe. And here is me." Keith tells Celeste that she's just really tired and could do with some sleep, but she turns on him and is actually pretty funny when she levels him with "Please don't minimize my severe depression." She stands up and waltzes across the room in her pink robe, announcing, "There only one thing that'll make me feel better." She takes her leave of the room and Javier tells Keith, "Well, we're fucked." And not in a good way. Not yet, anyhow. "Halfway through the tour she always gets really depressed," Javier soothsays. "Then we go to whatever stupid gay club we can find that's still open so she can get worshipped by the fags." Keith is all alarmed and asks, "We're going to a gay club?" and Javier responds, "When did my character get its own name? I must be getting really important."