Meanwhile, back in L.A., David lies in bed.
Back at the bar, "Don't Leave Me This Way" is the best song ever. Javier makes the observation, "Midwestern queers really creep me out," which is a nuanced stroke of genius that Keith agrees with, as they watch Celeste shake her groove thing on the dance floor with a number of shirtless youths who all secretly hope that the suicide death pact between Kurt and Ram wasn't just a hoax after all. Soon Keith's phone isn't the only thing vibrating, though it certainly is one of them. He takes his leave to answer the phone, and hears David asking him if he's still working. David apologizes and says he couldn't sleep, but he stops himself shortly and tells Keith, "It sounds like you're at a bar." When David hears the chorus of the song begin and a chorus of male voices sings the "Awwwwwwwww, baby!" line, David amends his observation: "That's a gay bar." But, I mean, how could you NOT sing that part at the top of your lungs? It's the BEST! And you've been waiting for it for the WHOLE SONG. Keith tells David that he has to go, and David will probably blame a panic attack later when he bites Keith's head off, "Sorry to bother you. If anybody gets mad at you, just tell them your wife's on her woman's time. They'll feel bad for you that your wife's such a bitch when she's on the rag. G'night!" David throws the phone and looks mad. Wait. I think they're going to play another song. I requested "I Feel For You." Stay at the bar. STAY AT THE BAR.
Whew. Javier asks Keith, "Your old lady's pissed off?" Keith doesn't respond, so Javier tries again, "You could've just told her you was [sic] at some fag bar." Homophobes have such terrible grammar. Keith's had it: "Javier, I'm gay. I have a boyfriend. I sleep with men. Okay? I have a lot of sex and it's really, really gay." Javier barely misses a beat, responding, "That's cool, man." And this has been One To Grow On.
Back in L.A., David doesn't sleep, and it's really, really gay. Now seriously, I think you'd better go back to the bar. And, also, I think you'd better knock knock knock on wood.
Oh, fossils. George stampedes twelve steps ahead of Ruth up a mountain trail, complaining about how picked-over a spot was where he wanted to find dinosaurs or cave paintings or Dennis Miller's funny material or some such thing. Meanwhile, Ruth lags, yelling out that she feels "dehydrated." He laughs at her and tells her she shouldn't have drunk all of her water, and then offers her some of his. She takes the water and says that he had told her he didn't have any water left, and if you thought Ishtar was funny, you might consider this sequence its spiritual sequel. What mismatched buddies!