David, much like myself, is one of those people who should not wear sunglasses. They make him look like a really polite Terminator somehow. He and Keith are in the car, setting off for a getaway at the "romantic refuge that is Los Lomos." Heh. You totally know Alan Ball wanted to slip the "H" in there, but wisely decided against it. David hopes they have shuffleboard, because he was really good at it as a kid. Keith is interested in the antiquing nearby, and they're both really cute when they bicker good-naturedly about David's singing and Keith's tendency to say "calories" and "carbs" a lot.
Sticking with our car motif, however, we soon come to a scene that's considerably less cute than the one we just watched. Nate pulls over to the side of a suburban street somewhere, unzips his fly, and as America lets out a collective "He's not really gonna do what I think he's doing?" he proceeds to do exactly that. Just for kicks, here are a few of the hits I got from a Google search on "euphemisms for masturbation": Giving the naked mole rat a noogie, getting special sauce from Mayor McCheese, flibhabbling the winkerpoodle, corsaging the blue dress, lightsaber practice with Captain Solo, manually targeting the rebel base, and, for the women out there, clubbin' the nubbin, gilding the lily, and Joycelyn Eldering. Director Michael Engler cleverly frames the shot to keep Nate's hand out of view (thereby sparing us from any significant eye injuries) while also putting the open window in the center of the frame, so as to better build up the "Will he get caught?" tension. Hmm. I wonder if he taught this technique to David?
He does, however, come home to The Boredello (tm phxchic, who wasn't properly credited last week) with his shirt untucked and his hair all rumpled. Hell, he's practically smoking a cigarette. Flick…ahh. The Ironic Segue Fairy is there, helping Lisa operate her breast pump, just so that she can tell Nate she's been doing some "pumping" of her own. Heh. Nate greets this news with a hearty "Mooooo," which reminds me of Gabe, and makes me wonder if maybe Nate didn't marry Lisa because he thinks her nipples dispense beer. What? It's no more crazy than some of the other explanations we've heard. He also calls Lisa "a fountain of life," which is just too disgusting to even contemplate, and agrees to do his "part for peace" by blocking traffic on various downtown streets instead of in Carol's driveway.