Six Feet Under
The Liar And The Whore

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Dog Dead Afternoon

We fade back up on Loud & Taylor (tm carrabuda), where David and his new "daughter" are doing some clothes shopping in her closet. Taylor doesn't seem thrilled with the prospect of wearing green pants, but David, the fashion-forward gay man that he is, pleasantly informs her that they're actually "olive." As is normal for these two, Taylor's bratty behavior is met with the unflinching calm of David's preternatural parenting skills. That is, at least, until Keith arrives and pours a big bucket of angry onto the proceedings. Taylor stomps off to put on her olive pants, and the bickering begins right here in the Hostile Hostel (tm Fuck-Puppet). Keith wants to set some "serious boundaries" for the child, but David just wants everyone to remember how much trauma she's had to endure recently. He also wants to exposit that Keith's parents are coming to visit, and he nicely accomplishes both (while simultaneously strengthening his spine) by telling Keith not to take out his frustrations on Taylor or himself.

We continue our morning rounds at the Formaldehyde Fortress (tm sorkinhead, for the record), where Ruth is reading the paper. Am I the only one who finds it odd that this show maintains such excellent temporal continuity within each episode, and yet does things to time between shows that could make even Stephen Hawking jump up and run away in fear? Seriously, people. If it's morning in one scene, it's almost always the same morning in the next, but if it's Christmas in one episode, it'll probably be Arbor Day by the time the next week rolls around. Anyway, Claire comes downstairs, and is immediately greeted with concern from Ruth, who notes that it's already after nine o'clock. "Please let me sleep late," sighs Claire. "It's the last enjoyment I'll know before I become another cog in the wheel making mocha lattes for the people who have a life." "Don't you think that's a little dramatic?" inquires Mommie Drearest. Maybe, but would you rather be a cog in the wheel providing extensive written descriptions of television shows to people who have a life? I didn't think so. Ruth offers to make Claire something to eat, and while Foreshadowing accepts the offer and packs a Han Solo lunchbox, Claire points out that she's already grabbed some orange juice and an apple. "That's two of my daily servings of fruit recommended by the USDA," she says. Heh. I could never exceed my recommended daily allowance of Lauren. Ruth asks her daughter if she's depressed, and as Claire gets up to leave without answering, Mom calls out, "Well, whatever you're going through, I hope you don't blame it on me!" Hee!

Downstairs, Nate is working at his desk when David finally arrives for work. Despite his prior admonition to Keith, David seems determined to take his own foul mood out on Nate this morning, but Nate informs him that he has to leave to go meet Brenda and The Hot Rabbi. "Are you thinking of converting?" wonders David. "Why not?" replies Nate. "I'm already circumcised." You know, there's probably an overgrown pubic hair joke in there somewhere, but for all our sakes, I'm just going to ignore it. Nate also hands over the paperwork on the DGDJ, explaining that she's a referral from Vanessa at the Bay Bridge nursing home. "Great," snarks David. "Another chance for Rico to act like we owe our whole livelihood to him." Heh. Can I get a "Shut up, Rico"? Amen. They're interrupted by some guy walking in and asking for "Nathaniel Fisher." After some "who's your daddy"-style confusion over who exactly "Nathaniel Fisher" might be, Nate finally accepts the package the guy wants to deliver. "Consider yourself served," says Subpoena Boy as he leaves. Incidentally, I know I've seen that guy somewhere before, so if anyone knows who he is, I'd love to hear it. In case it helps to jog your memory, I'll point out that he looks a lot like the illicit and slightly deformed love child of Jon Cryer and Adam Goldberg. Anyway, Nate reviews the legal documentation (which he should be getting pretty good at these days), and explains to David that the "wife of the guy who fell off the boat and got sliced up by the propeller" is suing them for emotional distress because Nate let her see the body. He also says "fuck" a few times, which is something else he's getting pretty good at.

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Six Feet Under

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