Nikolai and Ruth are out to dinner at some fancy Russian restaurant. She's got her hair down again, which looks good, but freaks me out a little because there's just so much of it. Suddenly, two middle-aged Russian ladies at the next table recognize Nikolai and come over to chat. Nikolai The Busted Guy looks uncomfortable, but Ruth happily invites the women to join them. Russian Ho #1 asks if Ruth is "Nikki's special friend" they've been hearing so much about, the one who works for Nikolai and "used to fix dead people." Ruth agrees that it must be her, and then we cut back to David and Keith. David asks if the Big Black Sex EMT he saw Keith with last week is a serious relationship, and Keith hedges a bit before asking if David's indulgence in drugs is also a serious thing. David admits that he won’t be trying Ecstasy again, and Keith lays out a future plot point by revealing that drugs screwed up his sister's life. Then again, I said that about the lipstick-coated glass back in "The Room," so who knows where they're gonna go with it. This is also a good time to mention that the club-kid consensus on the drugs from last week seems to be that it was "Special K." It's a measure of just how uncool I really am that my first thought was to wonder why David would be snorting a breakfast cereal. Tracy suddenly appears to ask David if there's "any special reason [he] showed up tonight." David looks right at Keith as he says no. Even Tracy can understand that one, so she leaves the two of them alone. David suggests getting something to eat, and Keith agrees.
Back at the restaurant, Nikolai and Ruth are dancing wildly in the aisles. It's interesting that even Nikolai is a better dancer than David. Ruth is laughing and having a great time, and then there's a smash cut to her alone in the bathroom, trying to catch her breath. Suddenly, Russian Ho #2 enters, venomously refers to her a "fucking bitch," and threatens to "tear out [Ruth's] heart like [Ruth] has torn out [hers]." And of course, just when it's getting good, we cut back to David and Keith, who are peering in through the window of Billy's gallery, trying to spot the piss picture. They finally find it, and giggle for a bit before sitting down to eat. Keith asks after Mommie Drearest, and David explains that it's weird to see his mother dating. "People should be with people," non-sequiturs Keith, and David replies that "sometimes, people are too stupid to know it." Given the fact that we're dealing with two gay men here, I'm absolutely flabbergasted that neither chooses to add that "people who need people are luckiest people around." Then again, I have some serious reservations about having anything even remotely associated with Barbra Streisand involved with my recaps, so perhaps that's for the best. They laugh and bond over tacos, and then it's back to Ruth and the Russian Ho in the bathroom. Since the phrase "Russian Ho" makes me instantly think of Anna Kournikova, I'll be calling this lady Anna for the rest of the recap. Or actually for the rest of the paragraph, since that's how long her part lasts. Anyway, Anna explains that she's been seeing Nikolai every Saturday night for six years. She'd cook him dinner, and then Nikolai would take her to the movies. In a touch that's simultaneously hilarious and over-the-top unbelievable, it turns out that Nikolai has a big fetish for Freddie Prinze Jr. films. Given the fact that we're dealing with Alan Ball here, I'm absolutely flabbergasted that he didn't make a "Scooby snacks" joke/pop-culture reference. When asked if she's planning to marry Nikolai, Ruth laughs and admits that he kind of scares her. Then she babbles on about how much she loves her job, and how she'll break up with Nikolai because she doesn't want to jeopardize her employment. This seems to mollify Anna, and Ruth gives her a great big hug before thanking her and saying, "I've had the best time coming to this restaurant and having you yell at me." Heh.
David and Keith saunter into David's bedroom, which I guess is at the Fortress, although I'm not sure if that's ever been definitively established. Keith observes that it's the first time he's ever been in David's room after dark, and David responds to that by planting a kiss on him. Then he throws Keith down on the couch and jumps on top of him. There's some more kissing, and David reaches for Keith's zipper, but then Keith pushes him away and calls for a Big Black Sex Stop. David doesn't understand why Keith would come up to his room if he weren't looking for sex, but Keith repeats that he just wants to be friends. "I don't want to be friends," snarks David. "I want to fuck…can't we just have sex? It doesn't have to mean anything." Keith looks scared by this new development in David's behavior, and excuses himself to leave, admonishing David to "take care of [himself]." David meanwhile, slumps down on the couch and flings his jacket across the room in frustration.