Six Feet Under
The New Person

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Death takes a holiday

But that's okay, because we cut to Claire and Gabe, giggling over Nate's piss picture. Marry me, Lauren, and I'll piss on a wall for you any time you want. Of course, that's sort of how she and I got into this whole restraining-order mess in the first place, but that's okay. Also, while we're on the subject, thanks to all the buzzkills who e-mailed me and posted links to the TV Guide article in which Lauren discusses her engagement. Although I guess that if I'm not going to let a little thing like her not even knowing I'm alive stop me, a fiancée should be the least of my problems. I will prevail. Oh, yes, I will prevail. Gabe laughs for the first time since his brother died, and then issues a heartfelt, if seventeen-year-old-boy-style, apology for telling everyone about the foot incident. You can really see Lauren Ambrose's emotion at hearing precisely the words she's wanted to hear from this boy, and she grasps his hand and smiles as we fade out.

Body Shop. Nate walks in to find Illeana working and chatting on her hands-free cell phone. Just in case we haven't gotten that she's a wild one yet, she's arguing with her (presumed) boyfriend about the fact that he won't help her to have a "one-hour orgasm," despite the fact that she dressed up in an outfit and called him "Daddy" all last weekend. It was at this point that I began cringing in anticipation of the inevitable bestiality, golden shower, and/or hermaphrodite joke that you just knew was coming. Far be it from the SFU staff to show some decorum. On the other hand, it is somewhat refreshing to be able to count on them taking every single joke to its perverse, over-the-top extreme. These guys make David E. Kelley look like David Milch. Illeana also points out that she's sorry that men can't have the one-hour orgasm, but "since you guys get everything else on the planet, it seems like a fair trade-off." Heh. Also, was I the only one that couldn't help but remember the old L.A. Law "Venus Butterfly" gag here? When she hangs up, Nate tries to convince her to watch the personal calls when David is around. Then, of course, Nate's cell phone rings with a personal call of his own. It's Brenda, and they bicker quietly while Illeana tries to listen in. All she can hear is something about the "pissing," so naturally she tries to counsel him. Nate tells her to mind her own business, and Illeana rewards us with that golden-shower joke I've been waiting for. "I had an ex who wanted to pee on me, you know, and I wasn't grossed out. I just thought it was kind of silly." Peter Krause cracks me up with his facial expression as he backs slowly out of the room.

At the Flower Shop, Nikolai comes up to Ruth as she's working and nervously thanks her for taking him to the photo show. When Ruth asks him if he might want to go to dinner sometime, he giddily accepts and skips away.

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Six Feet Under

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