Six Feet Under
The Plan

Episode Report Card
Aaron: A | Grade It Now!
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Speaker For The Dead

Aaron: Okay, let me get this straight. She's kooky, she hates Cleveland, she talks to people who aren't really there, the actress's name comes suspiciously close to rhyming with my own, and she's predisposed to getting excessively meta at all the wrong times. Um, should I be calling my lawyer or something?
Alan Ball: Of course not. Do you really think we sit around the set and structure entire episodes just to give you subtle shout-outs?
Aaron: Well, yeah. You mean you don't?
Alan Ball: No. You need to be a little more self-effacing, my friend.
Aaron: Okay. But if she quotes the Bible, I'm suing.

Nate now opens the "magic" kitchen cabinet to pull out a bottle of mixed nuts. Heh. "Nuts." Remember that later on in this paragraph. He and David discuss what happens after you die for a moment, and we're not at all surprised to learn that the churchgoing David believes firmly in heaven and hell. "Sometimes I kinda feel like Dad is around," asks Nate. "Do you ever?" "Nope," replies David, as he continues anally picking out all the Brazil nuts. Wow. You know, you can read that last sentence in two ways, and while one of them would be quite impressive acrobatically, that's not really what I meant. David reminds Nate about the "Independent Funeral Directors luncheon" they're attending that afternoon, and then Claire comes down just in time to see David dumping his nuts back into the bottle. "Nobody likes the Brazil nuts," she snots. You see? Marry me, Lauren. She's also miffed about the coffee situation, pointing out that "it's polite for the first person downstairs to make the coffee, even if that person has a penis." "Well you know," responds Nate, "it's also polite for the first person to use the bathroom in the morning not to spend forty-five minutes in there, even if that person has a vulva." Aww. I can't even tell you how many times I've had that exact conversation with my own sister. Now Ruth enters, and she's pleased to see that everyone is there. "With all their genitalia," adds David. Bwa! Mommie Drearest is in a big rush, because she's attending a seminar in the Valley that day. When they discover that the seminar is for "The Plan," Claire is worried that it might be a cult, and Nate describes it as "one of those self-actualization things from the '70s where they yell at you for twelve hours and don't let you go to the bathroom." "Oh no, really?" replies Ruth. "Should I bring some kind of jar?" Bwa again! "I suppose that's not much of a solution," she continues, before informing them that she won't be back until midnight. Once she's gone, Claire is nonplussed. "The thought of Mom being self-actualized is kind of making me nauseous," she says. Nate answers, "Are you sure it's not the thought of Mom pissing into a jar?" Heh. Claire's expression here is priceless, as is the clever dripping noise coming from the coffee maker. The sound guys kicked ass this week.

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Six Feet Under

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