Six Feet Under
The Plan

Episode Report Card
Aaron: A | Grade It Now!
Speaker For The Dead

Back to school. Claire returns to George Againwiththis's office, and is shocked and hurt to find a detective waiting for her. Especially since the detective is the same one that questioned everybody about that fire last season that all the Australians are talking about right now. This time she's interested in Gabe, but Claire pleads ignorance. Claire is also shocked to learn about the convenience store robbery, and then suggests that Gabe might have come by the embalming fluid he used last week "on the internet. Don't they have catalogs for that stuff?" For the record, yes, they do. The detective leaves empty-handed, and George Sorryaboutallthis just looks concerned.

At the Brotherfucking Boudoir, Brenda is selecting classes for her return to college life. Apparently Trevor's visit has, in fact, motivated her to do something with her life. Of course, she's only taking one class, and it’s a choice between "Ethics of Evolution," and "Bio-Genetics," so it's not like she'll be getting her Ph.D from Harvard anytime soon. Nate thinks both of those choices suck, and suggests "Cross-Cultural Perspectives On The Afterlife" instead. Of course he does. Then he realizes that once she's a student, they can "make out in the stacks, and sneak into the pool at night and go skinny-dipping on acid." Yep. That sounds like college, all right. Brenda, however, finds his amorous attentions here to be a bit burdensome, and she hops up to head for the kitchen. Nate, meanwhile, is not happy. "Look, it's been a while," he says. "It's been three-and-a-half weeks, and on Tuesday it'll be four." "Not that you're counting," snarks back Brenda. She goes on to say that a sexual slowdown is inevitable in any relationship after a certain point. "I'm sure there'll be times when you're not at all attracted to me either," she adds, twisting the knife a bit. "After a certain point, okay," agrees Nate. "Like six years maybe. But six months?" "Seven," says Brenda. Nate: "Not that you're counting." Brenda explains that it's all part of a normal "ebb." "Well, how long does a normal ebb last?" asks Nate. "I don't know," she replies, "but I think that's the kind of question that prolongs the standard ebb." Ouch.

Formaldehyde Fortress. Ruth returns late at night from her Plan seminar, and finds Claire waiting up for her on the couch. Aww. How sweet. And also kinda sexy in those pajamas, but that's a different story. Ruth joins her in the den, and explains that she'll be going back for more Plan seminars because she doesn't want to be rude, and because she also already paid for them. Claire offers to make tea, which immediately inspires the standard parental response to any offer like that: "Okay, what did you break?" When Claire says she was just trying to be nice, Ruth explains that in the "old blueprints of [her] old house," Claire is only nice when she's done something bad or when she wants something. "Well, that makes me feel like shit," answers Claire. These two actresses work really well together. Heck, even the writing subtly supports them, as this is one of the few times Ruth doesn’t chastise her children for their language. Anyway, Ruth heads upstairs to do her "homework." "I have to write a letter to my dead mother and forgive her for all the terrible things she did to me." Claire: "That sounds fun." Ruth continues, "And then I have to write a private letter to myself, outlining how I want to renovate my life." For those who are curious, both letters can be found here, by clicking on "The Wake." Once Ruth is gone, Claire returns to watching a movie on TV. As again is contractually required on Six Feet Under, all programs viewed on the family TV must be textually relevant to the episode at hand. In this case, it's Badlands, starring Martin Sheen and Sissy Spacek as teenagers in love who go off on a crime spree. I actually felt like the Ultimate Film Geek for calling that one off the first shot of it, but then like seventeen million billion people posted it to the forums before I even got there, so now I just feel stupid. Fade to white.

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Six Feet Under




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