Cut to Claire's school, where Lauren emerges from class in a long, luxurious slow-motion shot while Billy snaps her picture. Rewind and restart. Rewind and restart. [The following seventeen pages were deleted at the request of Lauren Ambrose's legal team. This includes the crude pornographic drawings found in the margins.] When she notices Billy and his giant, uh, zoom lens, she blushes, and the scene switches to the Fortress, where they walk in and make themselves at home. "You ever done it with anyone here?" asks Billy, before climbing on top of her and working the old Austin Powers-style horny-fashion-photographer shtick. Incidentally, that's my justification for stealing the "if you only see one movie this summer" tagline from that film's trailer. Anyway, Billy puts the camera on a timer and snaps a lovely photo of himself and Claire kissing while he mauls one of her breasts. Jumping up from the sofa again, he retrieves the camera and takes even more pictures while oh-so-casually pumping Claire for information about Nate and Brenda. Claire claims that Nate really loves Brenda, and when he hears this news, Billy immediately changes the subject, and leaves soon afterwards.
Downstairs, Federico sneaks in for a few more seconds of screen time before leaving David alone in the Body Shop. "Don't work too hard," he says as he leaves, and we cut immediately to David entering a gay nightclub called "Ramrod." I have to admit, that's a better name for a gay nightclub than Babylon, but I still prefer Pittsburgh's Pegasus, which is the apparent inspiration for the aforementioned Babylon.
Formaldehyde Fortress. The Fisher family finishes batting for the cycle when Nate has his obligatory scene with the Gripey Guy, who gripes, "Fifty-six years I've slept in the same bed with that woman. Fifty-six years listening to her talk about the same shit day in and day out." Nate offers to drive him home, but Gripey Guy isn't having it. "Shut the fuck up, boy, and let an old man speak." Aww, I remember when my Grandpa used to say the same exact thing to me. Those were some good times. Nate sits on the sofa, and Bill relates a series of humorous anecdotes about his life with Hattie. Nate tries his "I've got a gift" brand of sympathy, but Bill instructs him to "sell that shit to somebody who's buying it, because [he] ain't." "You don't know nothing about love," he continues. "Some pretty little thing catches your eye, and the next thing you know it's been fifty-six years and you done shit all over yourself in a movie theater and she's the only one who'll help you clean it up." The Gripey Guy repeats, "You don't know nothing," and I won't argue with that. "I won't argue with that," says Nate, and yeah, I won't argue with that, either.