Six Feet Under
The Secret

Episode Report Card
Aaron: D+ | Grade It Now!
I'm not dead yet! (It's just a flesh wound.)

Which is what he's doing right now, as they sit out on the front porch and clean the Buddha. The kid thinks the Buddha looks like it's asleep, but Nate explains that "he's just blissed out because he knows the secret to enlightenment." After Irony uses some well-timed web-slinging to pull me out from under the falling anvils, Nate continues by adding that enlightenment means "knowing everything." The kid then proves that stupidity is genetic by asserting that his dad Rico knows everything, and I couldn't quite hear Nate's response to that over the peals of disgusted laughter coming from millions of viewers.

On his way out the door, Foreshadowing was kind enough to drop off a picture of Nikolai's oft-mentioned dead son, and that's what leads us straight into the next scene. We're in Nikolai's Neighborhood now, and Ruth has arrived to do a major clean-up on the place. After convincing him to participate in what she terms a "surprise sleep-over," Ruth explains that "first, they have to get the place into shape, so [they] can have a nice, cozy, CLEAN evening." She pulls out a roll of contact paper, which confuses Nikolai into thinking that they're going to wallpaper the place. When she tells him what it's really for, he asks, "Ruthie, why do I want little cherries in my drawers?" Heh. "It's hard to explain," she answers. "You just do." Hee. And that's so true, by the way. The first thing my mom did every year when I moved into a new dorm was put contact paper in all the drawers. It's apparently a very maternal thing to do. Hi again, Mom!

Oh, and here's a scene Mom should recognize right away. Claire has gotten an F on her English paper, primarily because it wasn't actually a paper, but instead a collection of photographs of dead people combined with excerpts from Edgar Lee Masters's Spoon River Anthology. Not that I ever got an F outside of Calculus, mind you, but the principle is the same. ["You got an F? HA ha!" -- Sars] "This is an English class," explains the sweaty, bald teacher. "I wanted something…in English." Claire is furious, and angrily responds with, "Oh, so you'd just prefer that I download some stupid crap off the internet instead of doing something that's actually creative?" "Stupid crap"? "Internet"? Shout-out? Sweaty Bald Teacher says that he doesn't want to fail Claire if he doesn't have to, so she should just do a make-up assignment if she wants to graduate and head off to college. Then he delivers the obligatory knife to her back by adding that he's an East Valley alumnus himself.

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Six Feet Under




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