Six Feet Under
The Secret

Episode Report Card
Aaron: D+ | Grade It Now!
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I'm not dead yet! (It's just a flesh wound.)

Meanwhile, David is working in the Fortress's office when he gets a call from Keith, summarily informing him that they'll be having lunch with Karla and Taylor that weekend. "You can't just schedule things without asking me first," says David. "That's not what couples do." "How would you know what couples do?" snarks back a Not Quite, But Soon To Be Angry Keith. "I…watch TV," answers David. Heh. Of course, that's how I learned what couples do, which is probably why I'm constantly lying to my girlfriends about my medical condition, continuously engaging in secret sex acts with random strangers, and occasionally giving my loved ones gifts made out of detached human limbs. What? It beats the hell out of giving them a pen, don't you think? There's some more arguing, and then Keith hangs up on him. Incidentally, the only thing I really cared about in that scene was the fact that Keith's partner wasn't there. That's just sad. Come back to us, Keith's Partner! We miss you, and we don't even know your name!

At the newly renamed Promiscuity Palace, Brenda and Scrunchie sit down for their contractually required weekly conversation about Brenda's sexual liberation. Amongst the scattered psycho-babble, we learn that Brenda will not be returning to that shrink again, and that she's now interested in including Nate in some of her "adventures." Scrunchie suggests a "lifestyle party" that she knows about, and agrees to go check it out that weekend with Brenda.

While the Ironic Segue Fairy takes a quick breather, the guys in the sound truck fade the noise of Brenda's blender into that of Ruth's vacuum, and we're quickly back in Nikolai's Neighborhood. Her cleaning chores complete, Ruth invites him in to survey the room. "It feels like whole new place," he says. "Yes, it really does," she replies, before adding, "Who am I kidding? I can't stay here. I'll never be able to stay here. It's too dank. It will always be dank." Heh. "Dank" is a pretty funny word, too. "Nikolai, this is crazy," she blurts. "Why aren't you moving into my house?" Uh oh. Given the tone of this week's episode so far, Ruth should have known better than to ask that question during depression week. Predictably, Nikolai sadly explains that he doesn't want to move in with her, even though he wants to want that more than anything. "Maybe I am the one with the problem," he sighs. "Maybe I have been alone and cut off for so long that I no longer know how to do it." Suitably chastened, Ruth picks up her cleaning supplies and departs, once again leaving the front door wide open.

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Six Feet Under

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