The gigantic Keithmobile pulls into a seedy back alley somewhere as Keith wonders what the big deal is about Durrell failing to invite them to his show. David says going to stuff like this is part of being a parent, though he admits that Durrell threatened to kill them if they went. As they talk, David's getting a big garbage bag out of the back of the car, and he says he couldn't sleep thinking about all the porn in the house. Which is a blatant set-up for what happens now: he heaves the bag towards the nearest Dumpster, but it tips back out, spilling its bountiful gayload all over the pavement. Keith and I crack up. "Help me, you asshole," David snaps at Keith. I don't have to help, so I keep laughing. As David tries to sweep videos, books, and magazines back into the bag, he wonders about Durrell's reasons for not inviting them. "This one, we're keeping," is Keith's answer as he slips a DVD into his jacket. David wonders if Durrell's ashamed of having gay parents. Keith surveys the scene and says, "He's not the one that's ashamed about us being gay." David insists this is about porn. Keith thinks Durrell just doesn't want them to see him screw up. David says to hurry: "We've got another huge bag in the back." Snerk. You suppose the kids rode to school in the car with all that stuff?
Ruth's in her kitchen sniffing mayonnaise. Seriously, that's what she's doing. Rico comes in and asks what big occasion is meriting the batch of famous potato salad that Ruth is whipping up. Ruth tells Rico about Victoria's party, and mentions Victoria's old sitcom. Rico comments, "I saw that show once or twice. Seemed sort of stupid." Ruth snaps that Victoria's a friend, and Rico apologizes. Whatever. I used to have tons of actor friends, and I mocked the shit they were in all the time. Which, come to think of it, might by why I used to have tons of actor friends. Oh, well. At least I developed valuable skills that I'm now using before your very eyes. Rico asks how Ruth is doing as a singleton, and she starts in again on her busy calendar of cultural events. She even invites him to the McInerney reading the next day. Rico passes, saying he's going to be too busy sneaking out of work tomorrow. Or something like that. Ruth hands him a forkful of salad and asks if there's too much dill. As Rico raises the fork to his lips, Ruth says he must be happy to be back with Vanessa. Rico confesses that Vanessa never wants to have sex with him. "I can't get her to look at me with that same hunger she used to have." Aw, Rico. Maybe she's just out of crackers. He continues, "The most horrible part is when I look at her? I still get so fucking hard." Ruth suggests masturbation, and reveals that "There were long periods in my marriage to Nathaniel when he was constantly masturbating." LALALALA-I'MNOTLISTENINGTORUTHANDRICO! Rico yells that he wants passion. "I want my wife to want me so bad that every time I walk by, she wants to squeeze my ass and grab my--"