And Nate wakes up for real, to discover that his real phone is really ringing in real life. Did I forget to mention the eerie musical undertone during that last scene that totally gave it away as a dream sequence? Because it did, but it added enough eeriness to make up for it. And now it's stopped. Before answering the actual phone, Nate makes sure Brenda's still in bed next to him (she is). You'll never guess who's calling this late; no, it's not Miss Othmar, Charlie Brown's teacher, it's Maggie, who's calling from her parked car again. I know they don't want to go to the trouble and expense of building a whole "Maggie's Apartment" set, but would it kill them to shoot her talking on the phone in front of a blank wall once in a while so we don't have to sit and wonder if she lives in a late-model sedan? She's crying into the phone, saying she didn't know who else to call. Nate asks Maggie what's going on. "Who is it?" mumbles Brenda groggily. It's just your husband's girlfriend, Brenda. Go back to sleep.
At a more civilized hour, David stands at the kitchen sink, chuckling at the severely defaced sports section from the newspaper. Keith approaches, asking if David's seen it. David quickly crumples it up and stuffs it in the garbage before Keith enters the room, and blames its absence on the paperboy. Still covering for the kids, I see. That's a healthy dynamic. And anyway, a sports fan who can't stand looking at the occasional Sharpie mustache on [insert your favorite Los Angeles-based professional athlete here] is no kind of sports fan. Keith says he's heading out for the day. "I hope you've been noticing how much I've been watching my temper," he adds. "Those boys aren't easy." David says he knows, since Keith reminds him every day. Calling Keith's attention to the sound of innocent, childish laughter from the other room, David says, "He's basically just a sweet little kid." Keith agrees, until the sound of innocent, childish laughter becomes mixed with the sound of naughty, manly grunts and groans. Whoops. Sounds like the kids got into the stash.
Out to the living room, where Anthony and Durrell are sitting in front of the TV in their pajamas and laughing their heads off at -- what else? -- gay porn. And they're not even to the good part of the movie yet, unless gay porn is a whole lot more chaste than I've been led to believe. Keith angrily turns off the TV. "Where did you find those?" he demands. David adds, "Those tapes were in a locked box underneath a pile of old Ralph Lauren sheets underneath our bed." "So then you know where I found them," Durrell cracks. David and Keith exchange a frustrated glance, but it looks like Keith is letting David handle this one. Which he does, wimpily, explaining that from now on, the contents of any locked boxes in the house that Durrell might happen to come across are private. "Fine," Durrell grumps, because nobody ever lets him have any fun. Anthony asks if they can get ready for school, and David shoos them off to get dressed. "That went well," David says hopefully to Keith, who doesn't say anything but looks like he couldn't agree less.