So it turns out that Hey It's That Guard's idea of buying Keith a drink actually involves stealing a drink from the house they're supposed to be guarding. Keith doesn't like this plan very much, but HITG points out that the owners are on vacation, and also seems to have a level of familiarity with their itinerary that suggests he might have been the one who pulled the robbery here in the first place. The guy is clearly a bit unstable, in fact, because he goes off on a rant about "teaching these greedy rich fucks a lesson," and tries to convince Keith to help him trash the place. Keith, however, has other ideas, and most of those ideas involve pounding HITG into a tiny little smear on the floor. He forcibly restrains the guy from doing any further damage to the house, and then tackles him and proceeds to beat him pretty much senseless while HITG pleads with him to stop. Aww. Welcome back, Angry Keith. We've missed you almost as much as we missed Brenda.
David, on the other hand, is basking in the afterglow of his successful performance, as the Little White Sex Dork II lavishes praise upon him for the veritable virtuosity of his solo. Wailing Smithers comes over to drag the LWSD II away, and David takes the opportunity to sidle over to The Ho-Buck and apologize for pretending that he never petted his penis. "I don't know why I wouldn't just admit it yesterday," he says. "It just seemed so…" "Sleazy, repressed, not that pretty?" suggests The Ho-Buck. Well, personally, I'd have gone with "sordid, disturbing, and painfully embarrassing," but I suppose those three will do. David goes on at length about how difficult that period of his life was, but The Ho-Buck reminds him that he's preaching to the choir (sorry, chorus) on that particular subject. He also admits to having jerked off "a couple" of other members of the chorus, and he and David share a nice bonding moment as they giggle over their various tawdry exploits.
Just as David has finally conquered his shame, Keith has finally conquered his anger. He lets Hey It's That Guard up off the floor, and starts cleaning up the mess that they've made around the house. "You ever a cop?" wonders a badly bruised HITG. "No," Keith replies sadly. "Well, whatever you are," HITG tells him, "you've got a lot a of shit to deal with." Amen, brother. Fade to white.
Fade back up on the DGDJ's funeral, with a random guy (no one you know) delivering a eulogy. There's a giant photo of the deceased that's been placed beside him, and he's sporting a mustache and mutton chops that were probably the height of style when he died in 1975. Which leads one to wonder why Nate wore his hair almost exactly the same way in Season One, but we'll have to ponder that question another time. "Be glad you're not like us," says the guy, as we zoom in on "Aaron's" face, "tied to the old ball and chain." Bwa! I don't know if that's an intentional meta comment, but if it was, it was pretty fucking funny. Sometimes I think Alan gets a secret kick out of messing with my head. And he's pretty damn good at it, by the way. In the back of the room, meanwhile, David is almost falling asleep on his feet. Hmm. I doubt the concert really ran that late, so I have to wonder what he and The Ho-Buck might have gotten up to afterwards. "What trouble did you boys get into last night?" asks Nate, echoing my own thoughts. David claims he's just a little hungover, and excuses himself to go lie down for a while. Then he heads upstairs, which would seem to squash my theory about Arthur living in his room. Nate settles in to listen to the rest of the eulogy.