Six Feet Under
The Will

Episode Report Card
Aaron: C | 7 USERS: A+
Death: The High Cost of Living

At the nursing home, Nate wanders the hall, pushing a gurney and warmly greeting the residents who are...well, still warm, I guess. He's not very popular, which Rico attributes to everyone's knowing why they're there. That surprises me somewhat, because I can think of so many other reasons why Nate might not be popular that the stubble isn't even cracking the top twelve. Federico's pregnant wife, who works at the nursing home and referred the body them, suddenly appears and banters with Nate while they walk to the room. Incidentally, here's where esteemed Queen of Obscure Guest-Stars Wing Chun tells me if I'm correct in my belief that this actress also played Nicholas Turturro's also pregnant wife a few years back on NYPD Blue. ["I got nothing. I haven't watched that show since Caruso left." -- Wing Chun] The wife tells him that her sister can't pick up their other kid from school because she got a callback for a cat-food commercial, and she insists that Federico leave work early to take care of it. He claims he can't, because it "would make David's head explode," but Nate reminds him who the new boss is and says he can go. Federico looks wary, but takes him up on it. He tosses over a pair of latex gloves, causing Nate to flash back to the flashback from episode one, and they load the body onto the gurney. Start-to-Corpse = 783. I still give the episode a C+, though. Sometimes, you've just got to go with your gut instead of the math. Of course, that strategy didn't work out too well when I tried it on the SATs, but I guess you can't have everything. As they lift the body, the sheet comes away, and Alan Ball totally decides to disregard last week's female-nudity advice and instead gives us a big ol' penis shot. I can't think of a delicate way to put this that doesn't involve an unfortunate rigor mortis joke, so I'll just come right out and say that the guy is erect. Federico describes the phenomenon as "Angel lust," and Nate once again looks suitably skeeved.

Cut to Nate in the van, looking shell-shocked. From the back, we hear the body making the occasional death rattle, and anyone who's played Black & White recently is instantly reminded of the creepy "deeeaaaatttthhh" whisper. Brenda calls on her ever-present cell phone, telling Nate that they've skipped too many steps and need to have a first date. You'd think anyone who uses a cell phone as much as Brenda would also have access to Gillian Anderson's hairdresser, but alas, it is not so. Instead, she bears a disturbing resemblance to Darth Vader at the end of Return of the Jedi, what with the pasty skin and the helmet-like hair. She demands that Nate meet her at a restaurant immediately, and he agrees.

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Six Feet Under




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