Six Feet Under
Time Flies

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: B | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Tempus Fuckit

Rico and Vanessa argue about whose fault the day's Federiquito debacle is, and they're just talking over each other until Rico says that this would happen less if they were still together. "Really? What a good point," Vanessa says angrily. Rico sarcastically yells that it's all his fault: "Whenever anything goes wrong with the boys from now until the end of time, it'll be because I went out and fucked some whore, okay? I know, I know, I know." Vanessa's actually taken aback by this tirade, but the shutting up roles haven't been entirely reversed, because she manages to recover enough to invite Rico to stay for dinner. Angrily, of course. But from Rico's point of view, that's probably even better than getting her to shut up.

I hope that the male Pasqueaslet hasn't already had his hair cut, because he still looks like Wednesday Addams in a Dudley Moore wig. Even so, he needs a haircut a lot less than he needs throat surgery or maybe tetanus, because he won't shut up talking to Keith about his own now-concluded sexual identity crisis, and his girlfriend in Aspen, who's bi. David just sits and pouts into a magazine. "We're almost done," the hot, blond hairdresser tells David. David thanks him, but it's more than a polite little pleasantry somehow. After the male Pasqueaslet yammers about his mom's male friend and his unsuitability as a sexual partner, David announces that he's going to stick around for a haircut while Keith takes the kids home. The hairdresser says that's fine.

Ruth's back in her kitchen with Maggie, who says of George, "He's been asking to go down to the bomb shelter again." Ruth refuses. "We should board that place up and forget it's there," she grumbles. Maggie starts to say that it might be good for George to have a safe retreat, but Ruth slaps her down with a firm "No." I'm surprised she doesn't offer a compromise: let George go down to the bomb shelter and then board it up. Maggie picks up the lunch tray she's been preparing, and she and Ruth leave the kitchen together, presumably to deliver food to George, who's too crazy to fix his own damn sandwich.

Ruth and Maggie pass Nate, who happens to be sitting on the living-room sofa, and they both wish him a happy birthday. He thanks them and goes back to flipping through an old family photo album. And damn, Lauren Ambrose was a homely child. No wonder Claire felt unloved growing up. Suddenly the Late Nate is standing over Nate, remarking, "The day I turned forty, you were in Europe." And Nate was eighteen, if my research is correct. Late Nate: "I spent the whole day wondering if you'd call." Live Nate apologizes with the insincerity of a man who knows the person he's apologizing to can't do anything to him, and his dad says that Live Nate did what he had to do, adding, "...you little fucker." Live Nate talks about everything that's happened since the pictures were taken, and he's overwhelmed by the thought of another forty years. "The next forty fly by much faster," Late Nate assures him. "They'll be over before you know it." "Time flies when you're having fun, huh?" says Live Nate, and Late Nate corrects him: "No, time flies when you're pretending to have fun. Time flies when you're pretending to love Brenda and that baby she wants so much. Time flies when you're pretending to know what people mean when they say 'love.' Let's face it, buddy boy: there's two kinds of people in the world. There's you and there's everybody else. And never the twain shall meet." Nate just sits there and takes it. I know the Late Nate is basically a manifestation of what's going on in Nate's psyche, but where does he get off being so narcissistic and nihilistic at the same time? What the hell happened to that guy who was telling Tom how grateful he is for everything?

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Six Feet Under

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