Keithius: What are you waiting for? You're better than this! Don't think you are, know you are. Stop trying to dump me and dump me!
David: Hey, how come you get to be Keithius, and I don't get to be anybody at all?
Keithius: I'm bald, I'm black, and I look damn good in leather. You got a problem with that?
David: I guess not.
Keithius: Good. Now what do you say we invite that Agent Smith guy back to the house for a little three-hundred-way action?
And finally, we return to Missing Persons Manor, where Nate is tossing fitfully in his sleep and reaching out to stroke Lisa's pillow. He wakes up when the closed captioning says we're supposed to be hearing the sound of running water, and notices a bright light emanating from their bathroom. He gets up to check it out, and suddenly finds himself standing on a bright orange beach with nothing but the open bathroom door behind him. The shot is such a straight rip-off from Beetlejuice that I'm actually sort of surprised a giant black-and-white striped sandworm doesn't appear to swallow him whole. On the other hand, I am sort of glad that Alec Baldwin and Geena Davis are nowhere to be seen. Nate, who is now dressed in his undertaker's suit, eventually finds Lisa sitting at wooden table out there on the sand. "None of this turned out the way I wanted it to," he tells her. "I wanted to love you. I did love you. And I just felt like we were beginning to…I know we were. I know it in my heart. I feel like I had this once-in-a-lifetime chance and I fucked it up." "Nate," she tenderly replies. "I'm not a chance. I'm a person." Damn. Go Lisa! It took almost ten episodes to redeem Brenda after last season, but Lisa almost managed to atone for all her craziness this year with just that one line. Especially because it totally needed to be said. Nate starts crying when he hears this, and then we cut back to the bathroom, where we see him bawling into the mirror as we slowly fade to white. Aww. He's even hairy when he's sad.
Joey Pants: Heh.
Joey Pants: I know what you're thinking, 'cause right now I'm thinking the exact same thing. Actually, I've been thinking it ever since I got here: "Why oh why didn't I choose the BLUE box?"
There's no new show this week, so everyone can go out and have a great Memorial Day weekend. I'll see you kids back here in June, all tanned and rested for the finale. Now where did I pack that underwear?