Six Feet Under
Twilight

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It's My Body And I'll Cry If I Want To

At the She's Gone But Not Forgotten Garage Apartment, Nate is slumped on his sofa, staring at a handful of missing persons flyers with Lisa's picture on them. Maya is sitting (silently, of course) in her playpen nearby, and Brenda's voice can be heard leaving a mildly desperate-sounding message on the answering machine. She starts announcing that she's going to keep calling until Nate tells her to stop, but before I get a chance to bust out a "he'll keep calling me, and calling me, and calling me" Ferris Bueller reference, Nate rips the answering machine right out of the wall. Hey! That's the same model I have! Shout-out?

Elsewhere in The Fortress, Claire is lying awake in bed, staring at her alarm clock. It finally goes off, and we're treated to a woman's voice giving precise temperature reports down to the decimal for various neighborhoods around Los Angeles. Heh. That's the sort of precision you'd usually expect to see reserved for StC calculations. Claire reaches out to smack the off button, and then drags herself out of bed. Aww. She's even cute in the mornings. Well, when she's not puking, at least.

Hmm. Let's see here. If it's the second-to-last episode of the season, it must be time for David and Keith to break up again. And what do you know? Look at that. We're at Angry-La, and David is very politely trying to explain to a telemarketer why he has no interest in having the newspaper delivered to their apartment. They're not interrupted by the sound of gunshots this time, so instead Keith walks by, grabs the phone out of David's hand, and immediately hangs up on the caller with a curt "We're not interested." Heh. I actually thought that was a quasi-cute way of rescuing his boyfriend from an annoyingly endless conversation, but David seems to be a bit miffed about it. Here's a little tip, Dave: If you're not actually going to buy something, telemarketers WANT you to hang up on them. It's all about calls-per-hour in that business. Anyway, David chases Keith into the kitchen, and things quickly degenerate into one of those epic fight scenes that I always dread having to recap. Keith thinks David's coffee tastes like crap, and also that his constant niceness is akin to "nails on a chalkboard." David, on the other hand, thinks that Keith has had a "tone" in his voice ever since their trip to visit his family. Keith responds by reminding David that he should have just kept his mouth shut in front of Kersh, and yells that he needs to learn to stay out of things when Keith doesn't want him on his side. "See, this is the difference between you and me," replies an increasingly strident David. "I want you on my side. I need you on my side. And it's the one thing I never, ever have. Except, you know, for that time in Vegas. And the whole missing sister-in-law thing. Oh, and that time you helped me look for the foot. Other than that, though, NEVER!" David goes on to claim that all he ever wanted was to help Keith be whatever it is he wants to be (unless what he wants is to be is in a threesome, of course), and that Keith doesn't actually "like" him very much. "You're not for me," he adds. "You don't complete me." Keith looks pretty surprised about this, and I'm not sure if it's because he can't believe that David is actually standing up for himself, or because he can't believe that David is actually standing up for himself in such a whiny and self-righteous fashion. "Why should I stand for this?" screams David, who is now on something of a roll. "Why should this constant abuse be what I call love?" He tries to make a dramatic exit from the kitchen, but when Keith gently moves to block his path, David hisses, "Don't touch me!" and storms out of there in a big, giant huff. Keith just looks bewildered. As well he should.

Nato: What is the Natrix?

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Six Feet Under

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