Fade back up on the recovery room, where one of Claire's teammates is pulling a Pete Sampras and puking all over the court. I wonder if that gets scored as an unforced error? Or maybe they were all just talking about sushi in there and things got out of hand. Either way, Claire finally makes it back out to the waiting room, where the same nurse from the first scene is positively delighted to see that she finally managed to score a ride home with someone. The nurse fills Brenda in on all the important instructions (no baths and no tampons), and then sends the girls on their way. I'd stick another "Aww, she's even cute when…" joke about Lauren Ambrose in here, but even I have to draw the line at tampons. I'm sure you're all very grateful for that.
The Clairacle: You're cuter than I thought. I can't understand why she thinks you're a stalker.
The Clairacle: Not too bright, though.
Cromwell's Crib. And if the jokes describing the murder of a helpless unborn fetus with a whimsically humorous baseball analogy weren't enough to disgust you into quitting this recap, then the sight of a dripping wet James Cromwell in spandex bicycle shorts should be more than enough to do the trick. On the other hand, at least it's not Ed Begley Jr. There are some things you shouldn't joke about. George and Ruth are hanging out by the pool in his apartment complex, and Ruth is perusing a textbook George has written about "plate tectonics." I'm sure there's a "he makes the earth move for her" joke in there somewhere, but do you really care enough for me to go looking for it? Ruth notices that the book was published by the University of Maryland press, and since that's where MY Bobo went to college, I'm taking that one as a shout-out as well. Ruth, however, turns the whole thing into an East Side/West Side rapper feud and worries that he's "just stopping by" out here in Cali. "I'm thinking we should slow down the marriage plans," she continues. "I know I must seem confused, but it's only because I am." George, because he's the perfect distillation of everything Ruth could ever want in a man, takes this news with cheerful equanimity, and pleasantly responds that he has no other "prospects" and doesn't want any, so there's no reason to rush into anything. Then there's a quick bit about why there's no picture of him on the dust jacket of his book, and because he's the perfect distillation of everything Ruth could ever want in a man, we all immediately become suspicious that he's secretly evil, or still actually married, or horribly and tragically flawed in some other subtextually relevant and deeply anvillicious fashion. I mean, "plate tectonics"? Why not just put a huge sign over his head that says "Powerful Forces Lurk Beneath This Man's Surface"?