Six Feet Under
You Never Know

Episode Report Card
Aaron: B | Grade It Now!
Nobody Likes A Busybody

Tofutti Tenement (tm autumnyte). Nate and baby Maya have waited up for Lisa, who finally comes home after getting Carol "all tucked in" with "eight slices of cinnamon toast and a popsicle." Wow. That's almost enough to make me want Lisa to come and take care of me. Yeah. I said "almost." Lisa starts sorting the laundry as she offhandedly remarks that she feels sorry for David and Keith, who have "been together such a short time" and are already in counseling. "If they have so many problems, why even stay together?" she wonders. "Maybe they love each other," suggests Nate. "Ow!" screams Aaron, as the anvil comes crashing through his ceiling. Lisa is once again sniffing the crotches of her freshly washed clothing, and I don't care if that's normal behavior for new mothers or not, it's really starting to creep me out. This time, however, it's not peanut butter she smells, but rather Tide detergent instead. "You have to use the Dreft," she explains, in a highly patronizing tone. "Maya gets a rash from anything else." Nate claims he didn't know that, but I think we all know what's going on here. Nate lies, Lisa! He lies when he Tides! Or to put it another way, they started to fight when the laundry wasn't white, and they just didn't count on the tears. Lisa bitches about having to re-wash everything, but Nate signs over the last remaining sliver of his manhood and offers to do it himself. Sigh. Man, even his hair is limp now. Fade to white.

Rachel Griffiths: So listen. I know I'm only in like half the episodes this year, but after all the shit you put me through last season, I think I deserve some extra cash.
Alan Ball: I don't know about that. Lili has certainly proven that she can be just as annoying as Brenda ever was.
Rachel Griffiths: Do you want me to fuck you? Would that help? Because I totally will. Arli$$ doesn't mind.
Alan Ball: Yeah. Okay. This is getting a little creepy now.

Fade back up on Rico in the Fortress, presiding over the Angry Young Man's funeral. (He came in spastic, like tameless horses. He left in plastic, like numbered corpses.) David manages to intercept him before he can say anything too rude to AYM's parents, and then they both stand in the back of the room watching as the family views the body. "Please try to show a little sensitivity," begs David. "I did," snaps Rico. "I cleaned him up all nice. Sure, I was tempted to maybe leave a hand or foot un-embalmed so he could stink like he should, but no. I'm a professional. I did, however, rebuild his small intestine with two extension cords and some leftover tuna casserole. But don't worry, they'll never notice." David responds by pointing out the family didn't know AYM as a murderer, but rather as a son or a brother. "They should have known what was going on inside of him," replies Rico. This really sets David off, although he does have to pause and act dignified as an elderly couple walks past into the service. "If you think you can ever really know a person," David snarls once they're gone, "you're living in a fucking dream world."

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Six Feet Under




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