Six Feet Under
You Never Know

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Nobody Likes A Busybody

What The Fucking Fuck Estates. A haggard-looking Rico comes home from work, but before he can even get through the door, Vanessa starts bitching about how crappy her day was. Not only that, but the house is a mess, and Julio is crying in front of the TV, which is blaring a cartoon at an excessively loud volume. Ahh, poor Rico. All his life is Channel 13. SpongeBob SquarePants. What does it mean? At first, Rico is pissed that no one wants to hear HIM complain, and he takes out that anger by shouting at his kid. But he soon realizes the error of his ways, and sits down on the floor beside young Julio. He puts his arm around the kid, and they sit and watch SpongeBob together. Aww. Sniff. Of course, this totally means Julio will be dead before the season is even halfway over, but that's a story for another recap.

And finally, we go back to the Lactation Station (tm Thiajok). Ha! You didn't think I was going to use it, did you? Anyway, they'll tell you you can't sleep alone in a strange place, and then they'll tell you you can't sleep with somebody else. In spite of this, however, Nate and Lisa are getting into bed for the night, and Maya is right back there between them. It's probably rude to talk about a helpless infant like this, but that kid's ass is even bigger than her head. Those Fisher genes sure are powerful. Lisa gives Nate a whole long shopping list of things to pick up at the store on his way home from work tomorrow, and then they bicker a bit about whether he's going to be able to do it. Gee, I wonder if Brenda and Eddie are still going steady in whatever town she ran off to? And if so, can we break them up and get her back here soon? That'd be great. Thanks. Recognizing that things are a bit tense, Lisa quickly changes the subject to Carol, and regales Nate with a story about having to make carrot soup and drive it all the way out to Culver City. This cheers them up immensely, and they proceed to amuse themselves by thinking up ways to torture her boss. Lisa suggests using whole milk in her rice pudding because it gives Carol diarrhea, and then they consider taking naked pictures of her during her morning swim and posting them on the internet. "Oh my God, I saw her once," says Nate, "and she has the biggest bush I've ever seen in my life!" Bwah! One of my friends with TiVo called me on Thursday this week, and without even saying hello he asked, "I'm sorry, did he just say she had the biggest bush he'd ever seen?" Then we agreed that it was sort of frightening that I knew exactly what he was talking about, without any explanation. Their devious imagination exhausted for the night, Nate and Lisa pull the covers up over Maya, and turn off the lights to sleep.

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Six Feet Under

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