Six Feet Under
You Never Know

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Nobody Likes A Busybody

Frances Conroy: So, um, listen. If you're not, you know, too busy or anything, I was wondering if maybe I could possibly talk to you about, um, you know, getting a raise this season?
Alan Ball: Ahh, Frances. So sweet, so innocent. But, no, you can't have a raise.
Frances Conroy: But...but...I'm ten times the repressed housewife Julianne Moore will ever be, and you damn well know it! And besides, Kathy and Patricia get all that good movie money, and all I ever got was a crappy bit part in the latest J.Lo flick.
Alan Ball: I feel your pain, dear, but it's not going to happen.
Frances Conroy: Do you want me to break your arm? Because I will.

Couples counseling. Keith sits there alone, listening to David explain via cell phone that he's been delayed at the morgue and won't be able to make the session. Keith is obviously pretty annoyed by this, but he hangs up and politely apologizes to Arye as he heads for the door. "You don't need to leave," smarms Dr. Gross. "You and I can talk." "We can do that?" wonders Keith, as he sits back down. Ahh, Keith. So angry; so naïve when it comes to the ways of therapy. After establishing that Keith has been bottling up all his anger towards David, Arye suggests that this might be a prime opportunity to let out some of that frustration. He suggests that Keith pretend David is right there beside him, and orders him to say all those things he's been wanting to say but hasn't. "You've got to tell him about it," explains Arye. "Tell him everything you feel." "Relax," snarls Keith (to the absent David), getting into the spirit of this little game. "Quit trying so hard. You're making me nervous." After some more prompting from Arye, Keith really gets on a roll. "I hate your stupid little buckwheat pillow," he says. "And I hate your...nose spray." Hee! "I hate the way you always want to fall asleep with your head on my shoulder. Your head is heavy!" Oh, please. Just be thankful you're not sleeping with Nate, okay? You could cut yourself on a rectangle like that. And besides, I seem to recall YOUR head on DAVID'S shoulder in last week's episode. Unfortunately, Arye hasn't been reading my recaps, because he lets that one slide. "I hate the way you always make me feel like I'm my father by letting me walk all over you," continues Keith. Then he seems to come to some sort of realization, and sighs quietly to himself before muttering, "I always thought by being gay I'd avoid fucking my mother, but I guess not." I'd laugh at that line, but I've dated way too many mother-surrogates of my own in my day to doing anything but wince painfully in sympathy. I will, however, chortle at the expression on Keith's face when Arye suggests that Keith might want to consider seeing a psychiatrist on his own.

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Six Feet Under

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