Episode Report CardDjb: C+ | Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
Dinner by pitch blackness at Roam House. Papa Roam is explaining to his impressionable son why this election will be so much more difficult to win than the last one (my guess: he wins!), but is interrupted by a caller telling Mrs. Roam that Mayor Ron Silver has accepted the keynote address at the Latin thingy party thingy. Now all they need, Mama Roam says, is someone to introduce Roam's speech. Adam volunteers, because six minutes ago he didn't want to be in the campaign commercial and in six more minutes he won't be on TV anymore. This is nothing more than purgatory on the way to somewhere else. Back in his bedroom, Adam calls Jewel (whatever, who needs a nickname?) and tells her that he has to give this speech. But wait, there's more! He tells her to meet him at the hotel. They could get a room. They could "hang out, order room service, whatever." Jewel responds that "whatever sounds nice." Sex. She means sex. The Roam parents wash dishes and pat themselves on the back in a congratulatory fashion about their suddenly-emergent parenting skills. Shut up and get a dishwasher. But Roam cops to there being other tension in the house besides that with Adam. Roam says that he needs to address it, and Mama Roam rather tellingly asks him where he wants to begin, pausing for a moment and following up, "Well, when you figure it out, why don't you let me know." I think what happens is that they both get eaten by flesh-eating robots. God, I love "Choose Your Own Adventure" recaps. The End. Sigh. Sydney from Melrose is about to be on the receiving end of some really bad news. Roam takes her into his office and tells her, "I can't continue living a lie." He's not leaving his wife. Sydney from Melrose begins to hyperventilate, telling Roam in hushed tones that "the election is only twelve weeks away." So he says to her...WAIT, TWELVE WEEKS? We would've had another twelve weeks of campaigning? Where does that take us to, May sweeps? That is ludicrous. Oh, man. I vote down Proposition That. When I can vote again. In twelve weeks. Roam tells Sydney from Melrose that he owes it to his marriage to try and make it work. Um...rock lobster? Adam and Jewel talk about talking about how they're talking about how they're going to see each other. Adam promises they won't get caught. And it's true. They won't. ["Then they'll go skinny-dipping in the moonlight." -- Wing Chun] A guy who looks like a much, much, much less adorable version of Josh Malina (it's the glasses, really) is on his way out when Darlene Fake Smith comes in and plants herself on PornDaddy's couch. She tells him that her set visit was kind of fine -- that she found people "surprisingly normal, only they're having sex." She tells him that his movies are "beautiful," and that exploitation isn't taking off your clothes for money; it's working thirty-five hours as a waitress and making $190: "All I want is a chance." Well, it's a bit of a crowded marketplace on this show, but PornDaddy tells her he can make her dreams come true with "a few lines in a girl-girl scene." Reckless driving on dirty back road.