Episode Report Card
Djb: C+ | Grade It Now!
Back at The House On Poon Corner, PornMommy reminds PornDaddy that they're going to be touring a hospital tomorrow. PornDaddy does the first, somewhat less strenuous part of the set-up for the punch line, "It's a big building with patients in it, but that's not important right now," but doesn't give PornMommy enough to go on, so she just deadpans, "The women's oncology center?" The script continues its dumb, loping drive down Exposition Boulevard, knocking over garbage cans and mailboxes like it's in some out-of-control game of Paperboy it has no chance of winning, as PornDaddy reminds her, "You already donated money to them when your mom passed away." Dead mom. Terminal illness. Vast financial reserves in store. Check. PornMommy reminds us that she donated $10 million, but now believes, "If we commit to fifteen million a year over five years..." PornDaddy does the quick calculation and announces the total as $75 million, but PornMommy smiles and tells him it's eighty. No, it's seventy-freakin'-five. Anyway, if they donate eighty, they can donate a whole new wing named after them. PornDaddy susses out some hidden agenda in all this, asking, "Why do I have a feeling this isn't entirely about the hospital?" PornMommy's right on him, responding, "What's the supposed to mean?" Well, PornMommy, it's a big building with patients in it. But that's not important right now. And now, the worst attempt at male bonding since my dad took me to a hooker on my thirteenth birthday. Kidding! Just kidding! She was just a masseuse and we just happened to be in Taiwan at the time. Anyway, Roam and his father (excellently longstanding nicknames still pending) pull up in front of Adam's school, Roam telling his son that he knows things have been tense between them, but that it's going to change now that it's over between him and his campaign adviser so they can start playing basketball in the back yard. Or something. Father/son bonding language is all very pops and buzzes to me, and filled with many and varied references to "the sport" or "the ladies" or "American football" or some such things. Right. Sensing an in and an allegorical reason to talk more about himself than about not himself, Roam hazards this: "You really think you love her?" Adam knows he does. Roam knows something, too: "It's gotta be tough giving up someone you love." Hey! He's talking about his girlfriend to his son secretly! He should go to Dad Jail and be very ashamed. But Roam goes into yet another screed about PornDaddy's business (duh, just look at the nickname, America), telling Adam that Goldman makes movies of young women having hardcore sex. Roam looks his son in the eye and says he doesn't know how PornDaddy looks his daughter in the eye because he's a hypocrite and this circular logic is making me dizzy and oops look I just fell down and oh by the way we get it.

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