Episode Report CardDjb: C+ | Grade It Now!
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Roam shoots the commercial with his loving wife sitting beside him. It's a very good commercial. Man, anyone can write this political shit. And, the cancer. The whole damn Goldman clan walks through an as-yet-unnamed hospital. An administrator of some seeming import introduces them to a cancer patient named Jean. For some reason, PornMommy takes the opportunity to volunteer that her own mother was hospitalized for breast cancer a year and a half ago. Oooh, don't tell her the ending. Oooh, an attack of conscience on an already very, very, VERY good man! Goldman takes a look down a hallways and espies a patient much sicker than stupid old almost-healthy Jean. A sassy woman needs help into her wheelchair, and once she's seated and resting comfortably, she volleys, "You don't look like you have breast cancer." PornDaddy tells her that they're there because they're thinking of donating money. She asks if they can afford it and, upon hearing the affirmative, speeches, "Then why hesitate? Good begets good. It's as simple as that." Thank you, Oracle! PornDaddy returns outside and tells them he's made his final decision on the donation. Eighty million dollars. Tin roof rusted. But lo! Just at this moment, a "Dr. Rose," who runs the program, approaches in hospital scrubs. Upon hearing their names, she spits, "If you're trying to buy respectability, you picked the wrong institution. My patients aren't for sale, Mrs. Goldman, and neither am I." And, she's gone. Mr. Administrator Guy is really upset, and PornMommy says they'll take their business elsewhere. You know what goes really well with beer? Another beer. Roam, Mama Roam, and Sydney from Melrose stand behind the commercial set from Roam's living room and strategize how to bring Mayor Ron Silver on board. Mama Roam lets loose with the plot point that there's a "Latino Law Enforcement Conference" this Friday night, and that Mayor Ron Silver has to shore up his support with Latin voters. So they decide to offer him a keynote address, in exchange for an endorsement for Roam. And then they say it. And then they say it again. I can't believe how much Chinese food I just ate. ["Hey, Djb: let's go crash that party down in Normaltown tonight!" -- Wing Chun] Well, here's a subplot that will never, ever, ever go anywhere, ever. So, who do you think Darlene was? A spy for Quordon? An underage mole from Roam? A forum troll? I think she's Kate Pierson. We join her in progress, walking onto the set of a big dirty porno taking place in a hospital. No one's got the cancer. But most people have got the breasts.