Episode Report CardDjb: F | Grade It Now!
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Roam-eo and Jew-liet vie for rapidly declining face time. Hiding in plain sight in broad daylight in a public park (good one, folks), Jew-liet breaks up a spirited round of Take Your Daughter To Work Day, telling him, "You don't even care that I've got presents for you." Ooh, presents! First, in an actual, wrapped box...Adam's shoe. But I thought it was gone forever. Clearly a thorough investigation of the contents of the bottom drawer displays that this was not the case. But Jew-liet tells Adam that she found it under her bed. But that's where he was. He was under there for hours. Not. A. Lick. Of. Sense. It's rare a show goes so far out of its way to make sure there are continuity lapses that easily could have been avoided. For the other present, Jew-liet insists that Adam close his eyes, and she runs behind a tree and pulls out a cell phone. A small bag in front of Adam's closed eyes begins to ring, and he takes out a picture phone of some kind with Jew-liet's smiling face beaming back at him. He becomes concerned when she tells him that it's a gift for him, and he tells her he can't accept it. And, fight. Adam's parents say cell phones "are for business, not teenagers." Yeah, that's what my parents said about the Commodore 64, but my ability to override them and play Pogo Joe all day gave me to the cognitive reasoning skills to sit and stare at my computer all day, generating thousands and thousands and thousands of words out of a near-canceled television show that has the same depth of plot as, say, a Commodore 64 game of Pogo Joe. So to them I say, "Load, Shut Up And Deal, 8,1," and accept your gift like a gentleman. But no. Adam doesn't want to "take anything for granted," which Jew-liet infers to mean, "Like I do." Dear Drama Queens: Different side of the tracks. Break up. This will never work. Love, Abby. P.S. Maybe you can meet someone at a church picnic? Meanwhile, over at The Law Offices Of The Wife, The Maid, The Attorney, And His Numerous Possible Lovers: Roam and Banks return to find Mama Roam looking everywhere for them. Sydney walks up at the same time Mama Roam asks if Roam can pick up Adam from school, but Sydney is there with a thousand teeming inches of no. Roam has a thousand meetings, and Mama Roam doesn't like his commercials, but until we know if this is going to be anything more than another throwaway plot line that goes nowhere, I shall say nothing more about them. But a cell phone! Now that's something to base the entirety of dramatic action around, am I right? Back at Lover's Leap, Jew-liet argues that she's not "some kind of overprivileged freak," and that Adam might know that if he tried speaking to her. But, I guess, only having known each other for two days, they haven't gotten to anything much beyond "You're grounded and I'm horny until it's the other way around." Somehow this talk of her phone and Adam copping to feeling somehow compromised or intimidated by Jew-liet's money (not that he's exactly in a van down by the river himself, but I guess it's possible for even a middle-class family to live well when there's no electricity bill to worry about) leads them to wonder if what happened should have happened. This dialogue is harder to recap than reality-show stream of consciousness. So if this doesn't make any sense, it's because this doesn't make any sense. Adam levels with her: "I loved being with you. I loved touching you and you touching me." They quickly agree that they don't know what they're arguing about, and so the fight is over. Um, can we get the "writer" of this episode line so that we may further literalize the teleplay-writing convention of "phoning it in"? Is this scene in here to make us believe that their love is so deep and enduring that it will trump any trifling difference between them? Because it really just makes it look like they hate each other.