Secrets And Lies

Episode Report Card
Djb: F | 1 USERS: A+
There's Brilliant But Cancelled. And Then There's Whatever This Is
End. END!!! Quordon's pissant lawyer finds Right Hand at -- where is this, Alice's Restaurant? -- and tells him in "hypothetical" terms that Quordon has ordered the killing of Goldman, and, well, he'd really rather not be a part of that. "He wants me to kill your boss," he hisses. Right Hand doesn't want a trial. Quordon's lawyer doesn't want to be in the same room with him. Right Hand offers his -- oh, I wouldn't if I were you -- right hand, and the two shake. Banks sees the whole thing, and Roam tells Quordon that his lawyer is trying to strike a deal with Goldman, and that he's got the pictures to prove it. Quordon wants to make this deal: "If I'm gonna die in prison, Goldman is too." Roam is stone-faced, but we're back to Goldman's bedroom phone, where PornDaddy tells Right Hand that the trial is off. Quordon cut a deal for twenty-five years no parole, Roam brokered it, and Scarpelli was the name of Quordon's lawyer all along! Goldman tells Right Hand to sleep well, and we're treated to pretty much the only actual skin we've seen in this episode -- that of a shirtless Right Hand lying in bed. Why, god, why? He hangs up the phone and smiles as Darlene Fake Smith jumps on top of him. She asks, "Was that Mr. Goldman?" Indeed, it was. "He thinks you're ready for your close-up." She deadpans her I'm-not-evil retort: "I'll have to sign a contract first." He promises that he'll attend to it personally as she snuggles in closer. Just watch the right hand, Darlene. He can be a sticky little fella. And, finally, we fade out on a final shot of Roam-eo and Jew-liet (both fully clothed! Gyp!) saying goodnight by the light of the picture phone. How'd he get home from school? And, over in Roam's office, behind closed doors, the D.A. tells Sydney that they "have to stop," and he takes her on his desk as the sun goes down on nasty, nasty L.A., where everyone has secrets, skeletons, and demons, all stashed quietly in the bottom drawer.

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