Smallville

Kneel Before Tess

Crossfire - This week's DC guest character is Speedy. There's a plot about Oliver rescuing her from a life of prostitution, and another plot about Lois and Clark becoming TV show hosts, but the most important thing that happens is Zod finding out just how kickass Tess really is.

Rube Goldberg's Deus Ex Machina

Roulette - Like last week, Oliver is forced to play a "game" by a guest DC Comics character. Unlike last week, this game is revealed to be insanely and needlessly complicated.

Clark Kant Reed So Gud

Echo - When the Toyman returns to exact his revenge on Oliver, Clark finds himself endowed with a fleeting ability to read minds. Too bad he turns out to be functionally illiterate.

Resident Weasel

Rabid - Mild-mannered cityfolk start turning into snarling, spitting zombies. Is it because of an alien virus or have eight years of this show finally taken their toll?

How Could You Be So Heartless?

Metallo - John Corben left his heart in Metropolis, but picks up a new gig as a villain in his quest to kill the Blur.

Oh, the Humanity!

Savior - Clark tries to leave his human side behind so he can become a better superhero, but he's having a hard time. He seems to enjoy posing moodily, though.

So Long, and Thanks for All the FAIL!

Doomsday - Smallville's worst season finale manages to offend all factions of fans alike. A major character dies (and turns out not to be who we thought anyway); Clark is betrayed by his superjerk friends, but trusts them anyway; and the epic battle between Clark and Doomsday ends up shorter and less satisfying than a commercial break. You guys should have packed it in with Season Eight while you had the chance. Just sayin'.

Itty Bitty Pity Committee

Injustice - Tess's band of teen heroes, including Punky Bruiser, is a lot less impressive in action than in theory. While hunting Doomsday, they fail miserably, but not before whining about their hard-knock lives before they worked for Tess. Clark and Oliver, meanwhile, continue to tussle over the morality of killing Davis. And Roger the Rottweiler stops in for a visit.

Chloe's Choice

Beast - Davis gets worse as he tries to control his Doomsday impulses, so Chloe does what any hero's sidekick would do: she agrees to run away with the bad guy even as Clark begs her not to. Meanwhile, Jimmy begs for "car" money and Oliver lectures everyone about their morals.

Maybe We Could Call Her 'The Tit'

Stiletto - Lois finds a job she's more qualified for -- squeezing into a leather catsuit with stiletto heels and paying someone to take racy photographs of her in a dark alley. Also, Clark finally faces his greatest foe: kryptonite money.

Spoiler discussion: "They're gonna WHAT?!"

Smallville in the Media

Smallville Fan Fiction Recommendations

The Chlois discussion thread: Which anvils do you believe?

ACTOR: Michael Rosenbaum

ACTOR: Tom Welling

The Smallville Bottomless, Deep Bitterness Society

Lines that will never be said on Smallville

Chloe Sullivan: Deus Ex Machina With a Blonde 'Do

Homoeroticism, Yay!