Smallville

So Long, and Thanks for All the FAIL!

Doomsday - Smallville's worst season finale manages to offend all factions of fans alike. A major character dies (and turns out not to be who we thought anyway); Clark is betrayed by his superjerk friends, but trusts them anyway; and the epic battle between Clark and Doomsday ends up shorter and less satisfying than a commercial break. You guys should have packed it in with Season Eight while you had the chance. Just sayin'.

Itty Bitty Pity Committee

Injustice - Tess's band of teen heroes, including Punky Bruiser, is a lot less impressive in action than in theory. While hunting Doomsday, they fail miserably, but not before whining about their hard-knock lives before they worked for Tess. Clark and Oliver, meanwhile, continue to tussle over the morality of killing Davis. And Roger the Rottweiler stops in for a visit.

Chloe's Choice

Beast - Davis gets worse as he tries to control his Doomsday impulses, so Chloe does what any hero's sidekick would do: she agrees to run away with the bad guy even as Clark begs her not to. Meanwhile, Jimmy begs for "car" money and Oliver lectures everyone about their morals.

Maybe We Could Call Her 'The Tit'

Stiletto - Lois finds a job she's more qualified for -- squeezing into a leather catsuit with stiletto heels and paying someone to take racy photographs of her in a dark alley. Also, Clark finally faces his greatest foe: kryptonite money.

Eggcelsior!

Eternal - In flashbacks and Papa Luthor's ridiculous old art journal, we learn the true origins of Davis Bloome/Doomsday. They involve an oozing space egg, a traumatic childhood and lots of murder. But can he be killed? Not so much.

Magic: The Blathering

Hex - Zatanna, the fishnet-wearing magician's daughter, can grant wishes. That includes an ill-advised one for Chloe, who wants to know what it's like to be Lois Lane. She finds out what the rest of us already knew: one day in that annoying, yapping body and you'll be thrilled to be back to your old self.

Mistakes on a Plane

Turbulence - Jimmy goes bonkers out of jealousy and suspicion of Davis and becomes a drug addict and soon-to-be divorcee. Meanwhile, Tess gets Clark on Oliver's private jet and plays the old "The plane's going down, where's the parachutes?" game. It's a game Clark loses.

Red-Blue Blah

Infamous - Clark Reveals himself as the "Red-blue Blur" that's been streaking Metropolis, because Tori Spelling threatens him. It goes about as well as you'd expect.

Love Is A Many Squandered Thing

Requiem - Lana's ruination of Smallville is finally complete: she gets to ride off toward the sunset with her new superpowers while Clark is left to mope about the girl who got away for the rest of his life after Lana becomes a walking piece of Kryptonite. Oliver kills Lex, or a weak facsimile thereof. And somehow, eight seasons in, this manages to be the worst episode ever of the show.

A Squirrel Riseth

Power - Lana Lang -- the same Lana Lang who's not even supposed to be on the show anymore -- connives and whines and needles until she ends up with a super skin suit that gives her the same powers as Clark. Then she says they're equals. It's all right, Superman fans: you can leave the room and scream now.

Spoiler discussion: "They're gonna WHAT?!"

Smallville in the Media

Smallville Fan Fiction Recommendations

The Chlois discussion thread: Which anvils do you believe?

ACTOR: Tom Welling

ACTOR: Michael Rosenbaum

The Smallville Bottomless, Deep Bitterness Society

Lines that will never be said on Smallville

Chloe Sullivan: Deus Ex Machina With a Blonde 'Do

Homoeroticism, Yay!