Smallville

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Tippi Blevins: B- | Grade It Now!
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Abandonment Issues

We rejoin Clark at St. Louise's. Granny straps him into the wheelchair and promises to take away his pain. He tries to tell her he doesn't have any pain (minus his raked torso and krypto-queasiness) but she calls him an "abandoned soul" whose parents didn't want him. She's going to take that all away from him. Clark reaches deep into Pa Kent's treasury of platitudes to offer this as a protest: "Challenges are what make us who we are." He tells her he wouldn't be the same without the people he's lost. She's still insistent on taking his memories away. Why couldn't she have shown up at the height of his Lana obsession? Granny says her girls would agree that she's the most compassionate person they know. Instead of rolling his eyes, Clark conserves what little strength he has to muster up a thin stream of freeze-breath. He blows at the chains holding up the metal cover above the forge. The chains ice over and creak. Granny either doesn't notice or doesn't think it's a concern. She holds her hand over Clark's head. Red light emanates from her palm, baking his scalp like meatloaf under a high school cafeteria heat lamp. He groans and slumps against the chair. The frozen chain snaps. The metal cover drops and smothers the green flame. Clark breaks free of his bonds, but Granny is nowhere to be seen.

He super-zips away from the dungeon and gets dressed faster than the human eye can see. He finds Tess suspended from the stairwell, the bull whip wrapped around her neck. He uses his heat-vision to burn through the whip and then speeds over to catch Tess before she hits the ground. Lashina appears at the top of the steps, cracking a whip in each hand. Instead of wasting our time on a fight, we just hear Clark zipping over to her and then see him standing over her bound and prone body. He walks back over to Tess, giving her a hand up. "Thanks," she says. "I thought I could handle that on my own... I'm so used to looking after myself." Clark smiles at her. "You're part of my team now; I wasn't gonna abandon you."

He zips back to the farm. He's wearing totally different clothes now, for some reason. He speeds up the hayloft and finds all his various and sundry Kryptonian artifacts spread out on the table, just waiting for any old body to find. Why does no one bother hiding any of this crap? And yet, they insist on acting like THE SECRET is a super-big, mega-huge deal. Plot-wise, I guess Lois had to leave it all over the place so that Clark could put the pieces together and figure out what she was up to. Still, though: dumb. The final piece falls into place when he sees that his mega-secret key is gone from its super-hiding place behind the bookshelf.

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Smallville

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