Episode Report Card
Omar G: C | Grade It Now!
Zero To 60 In Three Days

Clark enters and asks where they're going. "Dad!" Evan cries and runs to jump on Clark, who carries him up. He tells Clark that he and "Mom" are going to see a real windmill. He asks if Clark wants to come. "Um, Evan," Clark begins. He sits the kid down to tell him that he and Lana aren't his real parents. Also, Clark and Lana aren't real windmills. Evan, cute as a button and not in that fakey TV kid way, says that everyone is supposed to have a mother and father and they're supposed to love each other very much. Awkward! Also, how old are those encyclopedias, again? Lana and Clark look at each other. "Love" is such a strong word, kid. Lana says they both love Evan a lot, and that's what's important. Evan asks where his mom and dad are. Uh...Lana doesn't know: "Wherever they are, I'm sure they love you very much." Take it from the meteor pancake girl. Clark says they're gonna go for a ride in the truck. "Are we going to a windmill?" Evan asks, cutely. Damn, kid, enough with the windmill, already! Wait 'till you see boobs for the first time. Clark says they're going to take him to see a friend, first.

That friend is...a refinery? Oh. It's LuthorCorp. Inside, someone is drawing a solution into a needle. I thought it was our pal Dr. Sinclair, but then I remembered that an evil version of Lex killed him a few weeks ago. I wonder if this new guy heard about what happens to Lex's science officers. Sinclair 2.0 goes to Evan, who is lying on a harsh medical exam table with lights pointed at him, and injects him. There's crazy equipment everywhere. Evan winces. He turns to Lana and Clark, who are on the other side of a glass partition, and thinks, "This isn't a fucking windmill, you assholes! I've read the encyclopedia! The illustrated encyclopedia!" Clark waves, lamely. Hey, sorry about that whole needle thing. Want some frozen yogurt? You don't know what yogurt is because it's past W in the encyclopedia? Oh. Sorry. Lana says that Evan looks scared. Clark hopes it'll be over soon. The exam, not the show itself. Although...

Clark tells Lana -- who should know what's happening because she's standing right there -- that Lex's science team is trying to figure out what's going on. Lex, coming down some stairs, says they already have some intriguing ideas. Gypsy curse? Tibetan aging dance? Steroids? Lana asks if he'll be all right. Lex doesn't answer that right away. Clark asks what's up. Lex says that Evan's body is storing energy like a battery charging. They should have named him "Ray," short for "Ray-o-Vac." Lana asks for what. Lex says they think it'll lead to a rapid burst of cell division. Long cell division. Clark says that's how the kid went from baby to kindergartener in a day. Lana asks if they can stop it. Lex thinks a bone-marrow transplant might slow the kid's metabolism. Lana instantly volunteers her marrow. Are you sure there's real blood pumping in there? She says they'll do anything to help. Clark doesn't offer up his bone marrow just yet. Lex bypasses an opportunity to get more of Clark's blood, and says it's not that simple. He says they need marrow from an exact match -- a living donor who's a biological parent. Clark says that Evan's mom died. Did they establish that for sure? Clark says they can look for Evan's father. Lana asks what happens if they can't locate him.

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