Episode Report Card
Tippi Blevins: C+ | Grade It Now!
Patriot Acting Up

Lucy Lane walks up the steps, clad in an outfit better suited in its skimpiness to a July 4th picnic than to a Thanksgiving dinner. She teases him about the General's chore list. "He likes to test Lois's boyfriends," she says. "He's convinced they all have something to hide." Well, judging by the ones we've seen on this show, he's certainly not wrong. But he's still a dick about it. So far, Lucy says, none of the boyfriends has passed. Clark is confident he'll pass. Lucy strips out of her apron and saunters up to him. "You've grown into quite a man in the past six years, Clark." Clark sees through her attempts at skankery and suggests she help Lois out in the kitchen. He leads her toward the stairs, but she grabs him and plants a kiss on him. Naturally, Lois enters the scene just in time to see them locking lips. Clark sputters. "Lois, your sister just... uh..." "Ambushed you," Lois offers. She's unsurprised. "This has 'Lucy' written all over it, in backstabbing bitch-berry lipgloss." Maybe it's Maybelline. Or maybe she's a tramp.

Lois drags Lucy out of the barn, scolding her for her attempt at coming between her and Clark. She tells Lucy to make herself useful and sends her off to the store for ice. Lucy rolls her eyes, clearly unappreciative of the fact that she still has eyes to roll. Lois returns to the barn to find Clark chopping wood with his bare hands. "'Chop and stack one cord of wood,'" he recites from the list, with just a hint of mocking in his tone. "Sir, yes, sir!" He whacks another chunk into neat, fireplace-ready logs. "Careful Dad doesn't catch you making with the kung fu, there, Paul Bunyan," Lois says. Ugh. Clark apologizes for the kiss, but Lois doesn't blame him. Although, now that she thinks about it... "You can put out a burning building, but you can't contain her hot lips?" she asks with uncharacteristic meekness. "She surprised me," Clark says, although he's more surprised that Lois hasn't stood up to her father. He wonders if Lois agrees with his Vigilante Registration Act. She assures him she doesn't, but she begs him not to make her choose sides. "I thought you were somebody who stood up for what she believed in," he says. He compares her to her father for making choices based on fear. Lois shoots back: "Hey, just because you don't have a--" She bites down on the last word before she can say it, but he guesses she was going to say "father." He's stinging and doesn't hide it. Lois takes a shaky breath. "What I'm trying to say is that you haven't had to deal with a family for a really long time," she says. "All you have to answer to is yourself!" For some reason, he doesn't remind her of his secret agent mother, super cousin, the asshole father who just disowned him or the dead father who sometimes helps him with chores. Lois tearfully tells him he's going to have to deal with her family if he wants to be with her. When he doesn't say anything, she sighs and leaves Clark to mull things over alone.

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