Episode Report Card
Tippi Blevins: C+ | Grade It Now!
Patriot Acting Up

Meanwhile, that harlot Lucy has stopped at a gas station for ice. "I'm surprised the General's daughter would leave herself open to attack," a voice behind her says as she's bent over the freezer. Ew. She turns to face Rick Flag, now wearing Army fatigues. "Always watch your six, Ms. Lane," he says. He introduces himself as a colonel and flashes some ID at her. He tells her he needs her help. Because she is dumb, she listens to what this creepy man has to say, which is that General Lane is in danger. "We need to get him off that farm and away from Clark Kent," he says. Lucy scoffs at the idea of Clark being dangerous. Flag tells her that Clark is a vigilante sympathizer. He's helping people who want to stop Lane from completing his mission. Lucy thinks about this for a while, then asks for proof. Flag gives her an envelope with instructions to give it to her father. "Why not deliver it to him yourself?" she asks, popping the only kernel of common sense she has inside the Jiffy Pop bag that passes for her head. He says, "We don't want to arouse Kent's... suspicions." What a weird place to put a pause, Mr. Flag. He tells Lucy to say she found the envelope on the farm because it's safer, somehow, to lie to him. She thinks for a while, but eventually takes the envelope from him. Flag holds up a pen and asks her to plant it on her father. "It's a homing device," he explains. "It'll help us track and protect him." Weren't they tracking him at the beginning of the episode? Why the need for a homing device now? Lucy looks like she's finally going to be smart about the whole thing, but then Flag says the magic words: "The U.S. Army is depending on you, Lucy, and so is your father." Eager to be her daddy's hero, she takes the pen.

Watchtower. Night has fallen, but Tess and Oliver are still hard at work. Tess has intercepted a Suicide Squad transmission. "ASSASSINATE HERO TARGET IN SMALLVILLE" blinks in red on her computer screen. She tap-taps away, trying to decode the message so she can figure out who Flag is targeting. When her efforts don't produce instant results, Oliver rolls his eyes. "Come on, Chloe would have this finished like yesterday." You know, on the one hand, I'm sort of glad for the continuity of Oliver pining for Chloe, since this show is sort of notorious for just forgetting characters from one episode to the next. On the other hand, he's being a big jerkface. He and Tess bicker a bit. He thinks about all the time he spent there with Chloe. He admits it's hard for him to be there with someone else. It's not like y'all are rutting like elk or anything. It's just work! Tess understands. "But at some point, you need to start treating me like I am on your side." These people are jerks, Tess; this is how they treat the people on their side. She gets back to work while Oliver waits impatiently.

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