Smallville
Smallville

Episode Report Card
Omar G: C+ | 590 USERS: C+
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Chick-Magnet Of The Sea

Stately Luthor Manor. Did I mention this isn't going to go well? Lex is looking at some funky green pixels on a sonar map on his laptop when Clark and Aquadude walk in. Lex nervously shuts his laptop and says that they got there fast; he only has a few minutes. "Yeah, we know, bro," says Aquadude. "I don't believe we've had the pleasure," Lex says. Yeah, only Lex and Clark have had the pleasure. Oh, God, the pleasure. Don't worry, Aquadude, you're on the short list. Clark introduces his "friend from out of town" to Lex. Lex goes to shake his hand, but Aquadude just tells Lex he has to stop it. Shaking hands? Well, that's gonna be tough in corporate America, but I suppose he could...wait, who are you, again? Clark says they know about the Weapon of Bass Destruction. Clark says he guesses the billions Lex makes from agriculture aren't enough. "One day of college and he's already an activist," Lex snarks. How does Lex know Clark's been to school? Lex says the only weapon he's developing is one that fights hunger. It's called a sandwich. Would you like one? Lex says his teams have also been working on a strain of fast-growing kelp. Ew. I'll take the sandwich. Aquadude yells at Lex that he's lying. He calls the WBD by its name. "I'm sorry, who are you again?" Lex asks, raising his voice. Clark suggests that Lex shut the weapon down. Lex says that the days of Clark barging into his home to give him sage advice are over. When was Clark's advice ever sage? ["When he was recommending how Lex should season his sandwich?" -- Wing Chun] Clark says he doesn't want to see Lex get hurt. Unless Clark's doing the hurting. Lex says he's not going to kowtow to extremists who might try to stop him. "I told you this was a waste of time," Aquadude mutters to Clark. "You know, you're a real tool, Lex," Aquadude spits at our bald pal. He storms out. Lex tells Clark that his new friend has anger issues. "He gets that way when someone's trying to destroy what he loves," Clark says. Lex says he's not trying to destroy anything. Clark tells him not to bother trying to cover up. "The days of me believing your lies are over," Clark says. That's it? This was more whimper than bang, don't you think? Where was the fiery break-up? The make-up sex? Lex opens his laptop back up and sees a bunch of weird dots on the screen. It would be nice if they meant anything to us, the viewers.

Smallville

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