The pier. Lois emerges from a ladder, dripping, as the camera ogles her breastesses. There is definitely some lift and separation; we see a lot of sternum here. As the music continues, Lois positions herself on the edge of a small diving board. She jumps backward and into the water. In the wide shot, she's nowhere near the pier. But in an underwater shot, her head bumps the edge of a plank. The music turns dark and moody. If she hadn't dove in backward, surely her breasts would have saved her. (Though the resulting leak might have proved an environmental disaster.) Lois's limp body sinks slowly underwater instead of floating up. We cut to an above-water shot in which two kids have their feet wading in the water, not noticing that anything's wrong. It's only been about five seconds, but Chloe says to Clark, "Something's wrong. She's been under way too long. Go!" Clark runs at normal speed toward the pier and dives into the water. Lois continues to sink. Something zooms past Clark like a sea-bullet and pushes him aside. Gratuitous ass shot of Lois. A Matt Damon-on-steroids-looking guy cradles Lois's body in the water. Clark looks to see who it is. Robot Swimmer Dude gives Clark a look that says, "Dude, I got it, bro," and super-swims away. The water movement pushes Clark backward.

On the shore, Giant Robot Tank Man (we shall soon know him as Aquaman) is carrying Lois and her attendant front-baggage. "Is she all right?" Lana asks about the unconscious person just laid on the sand. Chloe helps put Lois's head down. "I'm working on it," says Aquadude. He starts chest compressions. Hey, hey, a little close to the boob, now, aren't we? Then again, how could he not be? Clark, looking very funny with his wet cowlicked hair, finally shows up. Were you chatting with Flipper? Nice of you to join us. Extras gather. Tight boob shot again as Aquadude gives Lois mouth-to-mouth. She coughs out some water. Close-up on Lois's face. From her point of view, we pan up Aquadude's gigantricized square torso. His nipples are like Navy jet rivets. "Hey," says the voice coming from the blocky, burly head. Lois's eyes, which we zoom in on, fail to convey an emotion. Lois smiles. She touches her sore head then sits up. Aquadude tells "Gorgeous" to stick to the shallow end until she learns to swim. She stands up, wobbly. "Maybe you ought to try breath mints, surfer boy," she says. Aquaman laughs and says he's Arthur Curry, but friends call him "A.C." Lana says they have to get Lois back to the farm. Not the hospital? Hey, if it spares me a hospital scene, I'm not complaining. Chloe asks Clark where "Bobby Baywatch" came from. Clark says he can sure swim fast. Chloe asks if that's "meteor-freak fast." Clark says the guy can swim faster than Clark himself can. Dramatic music. Wanna emote here, Clark? Just for a bit? No? All right, no pressure. We've got the rest of the episode, buddy. We'll just go to opening credits.