Kent Farm, the next day. Clark is upstairs in the barn loft, whining to Chloe about catching Lois and Aquadude kissing. He's upset because they don't know much about Aquadude. So annoying. Chloe says that they can look up some information about the guy. Less than a second later, Chloe is rattling off some stats. He's a sophomore at the University of Miami, studying marine biology. She says he's also on the swim team. Clark gets fast internet service up in that barn. Clark, not wearing plaid for once, asks whether Aquadude has a criminal record. Chloe manages to find that just as quickly. She says he broke into an ocean resort. "What did he steal?" Clark asks. Chloe says he set eight dolphins free from an underwater fence. Chloe doesn't think the guy is so bad. According to her info, he's never "dipped a fin" in town until now. She guesses he's not a meteor freak. They're still calling them "freaks"? Clark says he's not the first person who didn't get his abilities from the meteor rocks. "Really?" Chloe asks. Clark tells Chloe that he met a kid last year who ran too fast for his own good. That kid? Flash. Chloe asks if Clark's not just upset that someone stole his "hero thunder." Clark thinks he's Han Solo or something. He's got a bad feeling about this.
Talon. Aquadude is downing a big glass of water while Lana watches him. Lois pours more out of a pitcher and tells Lana -- and Clark, who's hovering nearby -- that she's never seen someone swim so fast or drink so much water. "It keeps my skin soft," Aquadude gushes to Lana. Oh, man, I figured it out. He's a butch overcompensator! Oh yes. It all makes sense now. I see what's up. Carry on, Smallville. Clark, trying to be all Columbo (but more "Dumbo") asks, "So, how do you like the University of Miami?" Lois asks if Aquadude goes to Miami. "Yeah, uh, how do you know that?" he asks Clark. Clark says he's a big fan of college swimming. Lana is like, "Really? Since when?," but all innocent-like. Clark ignores her and asks how Aquadude learned to swim so fast. He went to school. A school of fish! Ah ha ha ha! I kill me. Aquadude says it runs in the family. He says his dad runs a lighthouse down south, but swims like a lead weight. He guesses his mom had the skills. She died when he was a baby. If you'd like to know more about the comic book Aquaman, this site's not bad (thought a tad out of date). Sounds like he had a seriously fucked-up life. Aquadude says that part sucked, but that growing up by the water was like totally awesome! Clark asks what brought Aquadude to the most landlocked spot on the map. "Crater Lake," he says. Aquadude tells the group that lots of fish have been dying off in the lake. The EPA, he says, claims it's due to temperature change: "But I think that's totally bogus." Gnarly. Clark says that's a long way to go to investigate a temperature change. Lois frowns. "Not if you care about the world you live in," Aquadude responds. Geez, Clark, get the stick out of your ass. Unless, you know, you like it. Aquadude says that what happens in the water affects us all. Like, say, the price of the all-you-can-eat deal at Joe's Crab Shack. "Do you really believe that or is that a pick-up line for the girl?" Clark asks, rudely. Lana finally snaps, "Clark!"