Episode Report Card
Omar G: C | Grade It Now!
Chick-Magnet Of The Sea

The Barnness of Epilogueitude. Aquadude is there to greet Clark. "You got some awesome stuff in here, bro," he says. The tractor? Clark says it's probably not as cool as the ocean floor. Aquadude thanks Clark. He says they make a pretty good team: "Maybe we should start up a junior lifeguard association or something." Clark says he's not ready for "The JLA" just yet. Oh, good fucking Christ. Just shut up. Man. My head? She is bruised from this episode. Clark asks Aquadude to stop blowing stuff up. Aquadude promises, as long as Lex sticks to dry land. Clark thinks Lex might be a threat since he's seen Aquadude's abilities. He says that Lex will turn the world upside-down looking for him. Aquadude says that the world is three-quarters water: "Good luck finding me." Clark asks about school in Miami. Aquadude says that the swim team will have to find another handsome stud. Clark, maybe? Clark calls him "A.C." and asks him to stay out of trouble. Aquadude suggests that Clark get into some trouble. "Stay super, bro," he "acts." He holds out a fist, and Clark knocks it with his own. So, so close to gay porn.

A&M. Clark enters the lecture hall, which is empty except for Professor SoFine, who is sitting in front of a laptop. SoFine says he hopes Clark didn't come to apologize if he's dropping the class. Clark says that SoFine was right about Lex. "Of course I was," SoFine says. He tells Clark he's an educator and that he'll never lie to Clark. He says that truth is his life's work. Clark asks if it's not too late to take the research assistant position. SoFine says he doesn't want someone who'll change his mind. Clark says he can't sit back and watch anymore. He wants to help expose the truth about LuthorCorp. SoFine stands and says he expects his research assistant to be smart, thorough, and show up to class every day. Wow. 1 for 3 at best. Clark says he can guarantee it. SoFine goes a little too heavy here and says that every decision has an effect on the sum of a man's life. Dude, it's a college assistant job at A&M. Try not to get too full of yourself. SoFine says that Clark made the right decision.

Crater Lake. Lois, wearing jeans and a tight top, tells Aquadude that his orange and green clothes are still hideous. He thanks her for showing up, and then squints, holding his mouth open. Sexy, bro. He says he wanted to say goodbye. She asks if he's going to Miami. He says he's going to take some time off. Float around awhile, see where the currents take him. She wants to see him again if the currents ever bring him back to town. He doesn't think that's gonna happen for a while. Wow, cold, dude. You are fishy. Lois gets a bit emotional about the guy she was just ragging on. They kiss. It's about as romantic as salmon rubbing up against each other in the butcher's case.

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