Smallville
Aqua

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Omar G: C | Grade It Now!
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Chick-Magnet Of The Sea

Swim follies. Lois and Aquadude are back at Crater Lake. Lois, swimming backward, is taunting her new friend. He says he's enjoying the view. So it's still summer, but there's not a single other person at Crater Lake during the day? Lois is ready for their swim race. He gives her a head start. She doesn't play to her strengths by attempting something other than a breaststroke. Aquadude sinks underwater, and then we see a shape quickly dart in a curve around Lois, and past her. Lois gets to the pier, and Aquadude is already sitting on it. "Hey," he says. She asks how he did that. "Don't sweat it," he tells her. "I'm part fish." He helps her up. Different swimsuit, same rack. I guess hers aren't interchangeable. Aquadude compliments Lois on her swimming. She says her teacher was a Navy SEAL. "I swam with the seals," he says. "They're awesome." Ha ha, cute. But not really. Lois asks if he's a military brat. "No. Just a brat," he says. Oh, what witticism. Dorothy Parker surely missed the golden age. Aquadude tries to stroke Lois's plastered-down hair. "What're you doing?" she asks. He leans forward to kiss her. Just then, a weird sonar sound causes him to rear back and hold his ears in pain. Lois tries to help him as he stands. "You don't hear that?" he asks. He writhes in agony, and then falls sideways into the water. Lois calls out his name.

Underwater, a giant electronic lint brush with a red light at the handle tip is emitting a massive signal. Aquadude swims toward it, but is seemingly pushed away by the signal's power. Aquadude swims back to shore and emerges, stumbling in pain. Lois goes to help. He falls to the sand. Lois asks him to lie back. Massive downward cleavage. You'll suffocate him, Lois! His ears are bleeding. Lois looks toward the water. All along the lake, CGI fish are floating up, dead. Truly, this is a Weapon of Bass Destruction.

Commercials. Oh, how I love you, Wallace and Gromit: Curse of the Were-Rabbit.

Stately Luthor Manor. There's a computer schematic of the giant lint brush. Shockingly, scientists have just discovered that such a device cannot actually remove lint underwater. A woman tells Lex Luthor that except for an unexplained disturbance at the test site, their experiment was a success. She's holding one of those giant Remote Commander home theater remote controls disguised as a diabolical science device. On the green screen, which includes sonar, a message flashes, "Marine Life At Critical Damage." Is that a Japanese band? Lex, sitting behind his desk and drinking a glass of water, says the best part of his job is watching dreams become reality. Is he going to be an American Idol judge? The very pretty scientist in the tight red top tells Lex the target was three kilometers away. Lex is impressed; it's half a kilometer further than projected. Raises all around! Let's go to Red Lobster! "Leviathan" is exceeding all expectations, apparently. Lex says that if things continue to go well, his friends at The Pentagon (Lex has friends at The Pentagon? When did this happen?) will want to equip every ship in the fleet with it. Well, Lex does know his seamen. "What about marine life?" the scientist asks. It's tough, but then you get to call yourself a "leatherneck." The scientist continues, but Lex cuts her off and says that there's plenty of fish in the sea. Lex says nobody will miss a few that go belly-up. Tell that to Nemo! Lex wants the Weapon of Bass Destruction (the WBD) back in the lab.

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