Episode Report Card
Omar G: C | Grade It Now!
Chick-Magnet Of The Sea

A tunnel. Aquadude has swum up to it, and pulls himself up to the surface. Clark superzips into the scene, watching Aquadude go.

A laboratory. Aquadude removes a conveniently unbolted steel grate from the floor and climbs up from the water below it. He's got a backpack with him. This is the home of the WBD. Aquadude looks through some LuthorCorp documents that are just lying around on a table. He opens his backpack, removes a Ziploc bag and turns on some sort of device he was storing inside. It's an explosive. Aquadude gets back in the water hole to escape. He hears something zip into the room. Clark sees the ticking device and superspeeds to it. He hugs it to his stomach, and the thing explodes, sending water everywhere, but leaving the lab intact. Clark looks over. Aquadude is gone.

Cut to the tunnel, where Aquadude is diving into the lake. Clark is waiting for him in the water. I hope Clark's wristwatch is waterproof. The two stare at each other in the water. Aquadude does a Mr. Miyagi, waxing on in a circle and forming a seaball of energy. He shoots it at Clark and it sends him spinning. Clark swim-dives at Aquadude with both fists ahead of him, and knocks him back. Aquadude and Clark squint at each other. Another ball of water. This one's bigger and hits Clark right in the chest. It shoots him up and out of the water, making Clark sail thirty feet up and onto the shore. Clark acts hurt and winded, which doesn't make a lot of sense. Aquadude, underwater, grins goofily.

Commercials. Reba? They still show that?

Show promo. If you're just joining us, here are Lois's tits.

Kent farm. For some reason, Lois is up in the loft with Clark. She asks whether Clark apologized for "dropping the A-bomb" on her date. Clark says he didn't get a chance, since Aquadude was playing terrorist. Clark tells her he caught Aquadude trying to blow up a lab. Lois thinks Clark is making it up, and that Clark might even be jealous. She storms out of the barn.

Just then, Aquadude appears in his orange and green ensemble. "Is she great or what?" he asks Clark. Aquadude is impressed with Clark's "hook-up," and the way he absorbed the blast from the C4 explosive. "Aw, that was awesome, bro!' he exclaims. Clark says he was trying to stop the bomb Aquadude set off. Bro. Oh yeah, that. Aquadude says that, thanks to Clark, the oceans are one step closer to becoming a graveyard. Clark asks whether the device Aquadude tried blowing up has to do with the dead fish. "Everything," Aquadude tells him. He says the Weapon of Bass Destruction emits a soundwave that can rip a submarine in half. Yet it left the rickety pier intact. Aquadude tells Clark that some documents he found at the lab had "LuthorCorp" written on them. He says that the device kills all sealife around it, even when it's on standby. Clark is sad that Lex is into making weapons these days. Aquadude is worried that if the military starts using these devices, it'll be an ecological disaster. Clark thinks that's terrible. We can't let all those E. colis get destroyed! "We have to stop them," says Aquadude, getting in Clark's face. Clark's solution is to go talk to Lex. Aquadude says there's no time: "Come on, Superboy! With you on the turf and me in the surf, we could stop this thing cold!" Aquadude is like the guy who gives you jet-ski lessons and then laughs at you when you fall off and lose your sunglasses in the water. And I bet he drinks Mountain Dew. Aquadude lectures Clark about using his amazing gift to help protect this planet. He starts to leave. Clark superzips around him to meet him at the door. Clark says he's not going to put innocent lives at risk. Aquadude: "Like your buddy Lex Luthor?" Ha! "He's not my buddy. Not anymore," Clark says. Late-night booty call, maybe, but not a "buddy." Aquadude insists that Lex knows what the weapon can do and doesn't care. Clark says that if Aquadude wants Clark's help, they're going to see Lex first. Aquadude agrees with Clark, the "Boy Scout," and says, "Let's go have a word with the cue ball." I can't see how Clark thinks this is going to go well.

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