MONDO EXTRAS

Pretend commercial break. Ooh, boy, I love Wendy's!

It's the Perfect-for-TV Storm! The tiny Quint is on a three-hour tour (a three-hour tour) across the rough seas. It's raining and there are massive waves. Inside the cabin, A.C. is tied up and rolling around the floor. To add insult to life-threatening injury, a framed photo of him and Eva is lying on the floor next to him. Yes, we get it. They're buds and she just got some claws through the stomach. She's dead, right? No way she could have survived that. A.C. says, "Eva." "Sorry about your friend!" Ving bellows. He's tied up and rolling on the same floor. "But I'm more concerned about your life now!" he continues.

The boat rises and sinks on the stormy sea. I wish I knew a shanty. Oh, here's one: "Blow, blow, blow the man down!" Wait, that's Smallville: The Early Years. Sorry. The boat is being pulled along by ropes held by the evil siren. We glance underwater and see her strong tail propelling things along. That mermaid's got back!

In the cabin, bottles are breaking. A.C. manages to sit up. "Where is she taking us?" he asks. "Home. To Atlantis." Ving says. "To be executed." Wanna use some inflection anywhere there? No? Cool. You're the man. Moving on.... A.C. asks why she hasn't gutted them yet. Ving says that he's a symbol of hope. Or he would have been on a new, merged network. Oh well. Ving says that if A.C. is killed, that hope dies, too. A.C. says that he'll need water. "My flask. It's in my boot!" Ving tells him. Thank God it's not in his pants, because...awkward! A.C. manages to grab hold of it. "Smash it!" Ving yells. A.C. does. He grabs a shard of glass. Would every episode consist of a moment where Ving and A.C. had to struggle to get a glass of water? Because that could be unintentionally hilarious.

Outside, the siren with the gnarly teeth is still swimming. Her seahorse necklace glows. A giant light opens up from the water in the distance, straight up to the sky.

A.C., who I guess cut himself free with the shard of glass, dumps a pitcher of water on his own head. He's wet and ready, bro! With two grunts, A.C. pulls the ropes off Ving. A.C. asks how they'll take her down. "We're not doing anything," Ving tells him and says Aquaman should get off the boat. Hilariously, Ving cups water into his hands and sips at it. Gots to have my water, man! A.C. wants revenge for his mother. Ving says he promised A.C.'s father on his dying breath that he'd protect the kid and he isn't going to break that promise now. "Do you have any weapons?" Ving asks. Charm? Rakish good looks? A thirteen-episode deal? No? None of that?