Smallville
Aquaman: Pilot

Episode Report Card
Omar G: B- | Grade It Now!
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Wet And Ready, Bro
A soldier with a gun, Craggy Chris Isaak with a flashlight, and Aquachica with...uh...her curves, I guess, walk down a dark hallway. In the infirmary, there's blood all over the walls. The long-lost soldier is face-down on the bed with claw marks and blood all over him. Craggy picks up the seahorse necklace. The siren didn't take it with her? Serious glances between Craggy and Aquachica, but nothing else to see here. We cut to "Old Man and the Sea," the sign above what's presumably A.C. and Eva's bar. "Old Man and the Sea"? Really? Well, where's the old man, then? A.C. and Eva are battening down the hatches or at least the tarps as the rain comes down. A.C. warns Eva that she needs to hit the road or she'll never make it past the storm. She plans to leave after they lock down so half the restaurant isn't underwater when she gets back. There's a restaurant? After putting a single chair up, she suggests that when she gets back they visit the bank to request a loan to upgrade A.C.'s boat. Wow, that's awfully nice of...oh, the lights just went out. Any kind of electricity in a place where water just pours in would make me a little nervous. She says the power lines must have blown over. Aquaman thinks it's the circuit breaker -- he can see lights on at Happy Jacks next door. I hope that's not a strip club. In the circuit breaker room, A.C. tries to get his fishy electrical skills on. He jokes, "Would it kill you to hold the flashlight steady?" Apparently, it would. The flashlight drops and Eva's got claws stuck through her torso. Oops! "Awww," says Crazy Siren Girl, standing behind Eva in her net outfit. Her scaly, mer-arm morphs back to human shape. "You couldn't hide forever, Orrin," she tells him. A.C. stands up and gets slapped against the wall. She bends down and pulls off his necklace as he lies unconscious. That's all she wants? She didn't bother to get the necklace from the other Atlantis refugee. Pretend commercial break. Ooh, boy, I love Wendy's! It's the Perfect-for-TV Storm! The tiny Quint is on a three-hour tour (a three-hour tour) across the rough seas. It's raining and there are massive waves. Inside the cabin, A.C. is tied up and rolling around the floor. To add insult to life-threatening injury, a framed photo of him and Eva is lying on the floor next to him. Yes, we get it. They're buds and she just got some claws through the stomach. She's dead, right? No way she could have survived that. A.C. says, "Eva." "Sorry about your friend!" Ving bellows. He's tied up and rolling on the same floor. "But I'm more concerned about your life now!" he continues.

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