Aquaman: Pilot

Episode Report Card
Omar G: B- | Grade It Now!
Wet And Ready, Bro
LouDi asks his trusty radar guy, whom I shall call Radar, if there are any storms brewing out there. Radar says it's clear skies for five hundred miles. That's why he has to sit at the radar controls all day. Because nothing is happening. Dramatic music plays. LouDi doesn't look happy. I don't know what he's so pissy about. Mom always liked him better! On the plane, Aquatot grits his teeth as the cameraman shakes the camera around and makes mean faces. Outside, more blasts on the water as the plane keeps dodging. The skies are gray and there are continued tornado blasts. Aquamom screams just before the plane windshield blasts open and water floods into the aircraft. Nice CGI shot as the camera sails into the submerged plane. Aquatot calls for mom's help just as water fills the cabin. Outside shot of the destroyed plane sinking further down toward the ocean floor. The kid tells his mom that he's stuck and can't get loose. She tells him that he has to get to the surface because they're coming for him. Oh, and do good with his life. Geez, mom, you're not dead yet. Why not go together? She takes off her seahorse necklace and puts it around Aquatot's neck. She promises to find him again someday. I'm guessing it'll be near water. "I love you, Orrin," she says. It's not Aquaman! It's young Orrin Hatch! This show's gonna rock! Water floods over Aquamom's head. She turns dramatically as a shape darts quickly in the water toward her. Underwater, Aquamom yanks Aquatot's seatbelt off with a mighty yank. The kid looks at his mom like, "Wow! My mom rocks! Remind me not to yell so much at the supermarket for crappy toys." She looks toward a steel door that is being pummeled at by something strong outside the plane. Aquamom pulls Aquatot toward the emergency exit on the opposite side of the plane. She looks back in time to see a nasty claw rip through the steel door. Those Greenpeace folks get really persistent if you don't keep your donations going every year. Aquamom kicks open the emergency door. Little Aquatot floats out. Aquamom looks back, thinking, "Get away from him, you bitch!" Something with a horrible, skinny purple arm grabs at her neck and the plane revolves away from us as Aquatot helplessly watches. Nice, shot, I have to say. The special effects are pretty top-notch here. Aquatot floats off, grasping, toward the surface. Shot of a sunset. The ocean is calm and beautiful. Well, at least you got a necklace out of it, kid. You could trade it in at the pawn shop for some cash and totally score some crack. That'll definitely get your life going in the wrong direction.

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