Smallville

Episode Report Card
Omar G: C | 1418 USERS: B-
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The Big, Gay Cold Shoulder

He demands that Brainiac release Chloe and Lana. Brainiac says that the only way to save them is to kill him now in cold blood. He thinks Clark won't do it because he'd never deliberately take another man's life. Clark finds the easy loophole: "You're not a man," he says, "you're a machine. Clark grabs two giant electrical cords and plugs them into either side of Brainiac. Let me get this straight: Brainiac came here for some energy. And you're trying to kill him by... plugging him in to some energy? Brainiac makes painful faces. I guess it's the wrong kind of food and is giving him electrical indigestion. Brainiac says that Clark may kill him, but Clark's own end is near and there's nothing he can do to stop it. Clark takes a third power conduit out of a nearby panel and holds it threateningly at Brainiac. This one goes up your ass, you robot dick! Clark says that Brainiac won't hurt anyone again. He shoves it into Brainiac's chest and light spills out from his mouth and cheeks. Brainiac screams and shakes. He explodes in a flash of light. Little bright particles fly everywhere. Clark looks up to the sky. Far off in space see a familiar space rectangle floating toward us. It's Kara in the Phantom Zone. The rectangle moves to its side and we see a close-up of her eye.

Lana's coma asylum, at night. Clark is walking down a hallway, talking to Chloe on the phone. The gist of the conversation is, "Oh, awesome that you're not practically dead anymore, good for you, I'm going to see Lana." Nice one, Clark. Clark goes to Lana's room and finds it empty and dark. There's a small light on next to the very tiny bed. "Lana," Clark says quietly. A nurse asks if he's Clark Kent. Clark asks where Lana went and if she's all right. "Miss Lang had a full recovery!" the woman says cheerfully. She says it's something of a miracle. The nurse says that Lana has already checked out, but she asked her to give Clark something. She hands Clark a DVD. It can't be good news. Jeez, how long did Clark wait to go visit Lana?

Smallville

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