Episode Report Card
Omar G: C | Grade It Now!
The Big, Gay Cold Shoulder

As Johnny is leaving, Lex's administrative assistant is literally pushing Jimmy Olsen into the room. Jimmy also bumps into Johnny, which could have resulted in a colliding black hole of incompetence. It could have also transformed into a collapsing vortex of laid-back douchebaggery. Jimmy's goes in to see the world's richest man while wearing a baby blue bowling shirt. Lex rolls his eyes and, indeed, his whole bald head. Jimmy has been called into the office and he thinks it's about his whole Kawatche cave symbols story. He has an idea: a two-page glossy spread. Just two pages? Boy, look at Jimmy with the ambition over here. He says it'll make National Geographic look like a 10-cent travel brochure. Since when in Jimmy's lifetime (or Lex's) have travel brochures cost 10 cents? God, Jimmy's the oldest fucking young guy in the world. Lex goes to a filing cabinet and pulls out a folder. He reminds Jimmy that it was his phone call that kept Chloe out of federal prison. Now, Lex says, he needs some help from Jimmy. Lex says he needs Lois Lane off his back. Why not just fire her? Lex says she's been asking too many people too many questions. But you're her boss. You could get rid of her, you know. Jimmy asks what he can do about Lois. Why not put her out of her employment, Lex? He says it's impossible to stop her with the full-court power of the press. No. Lois is an incompetent doofus loudmouth. Just because Clark's dad dreamed she was a great journalist doesn't make it so. Lex says he's well aware of Jimmy's limitations. Hee. Lex tells Jimmy to help her find some information. He hands Jimmy that information. Jimmy flips through some photos and maps. "Is any of this true?" he asks. Lex pours himself a big glass of Scotch at 11 a.m. He says what matters is that Jimmy makes her believe it's true. Jimmy is aghast that he might have to lie. Lex tells him to do whatever it takes. Jimmy scoffs again, but Lex puts the screws to him. He says it would be tragic if the Department of Domestic Security decided Chloe was a threat again. Yes, as Mr. Omar would say on Everybody Hates Chris, that would be tragic! Jimmy gulps and realizes he's screwed. Lex looks at Jimmy triumphantly. You are my employee and I would rather torture you than fire you.

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