At a fancy dress-up gala, MamaKent's expensive necklace, on loan from Papa Luthor, is stolen by a dashing Robin Hood-like fellow wearing green leather and wielding an arrow. Gee, ya think it might be the guy who dressed like Robin Hood to the very public charity ball last week? No one seems to think so. Lois almost catches the guy, who we all know is Oliver Queen, the guy she's dating. Even being able to see almost all of his face except for his eyes and hair, Lois still can't figure out his identity. Clark tries to track down the thief and it doesn't take him long to figure out that it's Oliver. Clark agrees to keep his secret even as Lois is trying to write a newspaper story to expose "The Green Arrow Bandit." Her exposing gets her into trouble as rich people trying to recover their missing loot kidnap Lois and try to get her to reveal the thief's identity. Clark gives his Arrow friend a lecture about keeping secrets from people you want to date, and Arrow hints at some sort of league they might want to form that would dispense justice. Wonder what they'd call it. Meanwhile, Lex is trying to figure out the space coaster he found in his office. Lana rapidly develops a personality, blackmailing a scientist into not helping Papa Luthor get in the way of Lex's research. Yes, it's Evil/Sneaky Lana all of a sudden. Lex must have fucked the good right out of her. Turns out Papa Luthor was testing Lana's loyalty to Lex, as Lex's asking. Everyone is sneaky this week.
So remember last week when I was complaining that the San Antonio-area CW station, KCWX, wasn't running closed captioning, which I think is some sort of broadcasting crime? Well, this week they had a commercial foul-up that cut into about five minutes of the show. Nice! Next week, I'm expecting them to either disable the horizontal hold or just run a logo with a big middle finger sticking out at viewers with the words, "Fuck da ratings! We just hate you! Go watch Ugly Betty!"
Fly-over of Metropolis at night. Elegant music is playing. We open on MamaKent's neck and shoulders. I could think of many worse ways to start the show. She's wearing a very formal gown and an expensive-looking diamond necklace that's supposed to represent either tiny shrimp or question marks. She looks very nervous. She puts a hand to the necklace and fidgets with it. Papa Luthor -- decked out in a traditional (and yes, dashing) tuxedo -- brings her a drink. MamaKent drinks what looks like water. She thanks Papa Luthor, but says that she feels self-conscious borrowing the necklace. Papa Luthor says that the jewelry shouldn't stay locked up in the LuthorCorp vault, and should be worn for the first time by a beautiful woman. Why, you old such-and-such! MamaKent smiles, flattered. Papa says it's time to meet the Metropolis moneybags, and that she'll need them to fund her bid for the U.S. Senate. You know, she just took a state senate seat she didn't even win on her own. Isn't that a little early to be thinking about? MamaKent and Papa Luthor walk out of frame.
The camera stays on the hobnobbers, and frames the entrance, where Oliver, wearing a regular suit and tie, and Lois, wearing (what else?) a cleavage-baring gown with a pearl necklace, come into the room. Oliver takes Lois's coat, handing it to someone, and reminds Lois that this is a party. PAAAARTAAAY! Lois says she knows to stay away from discussion of politics, religion, and bad dye jobs. She looks right at Oliver when she says this, but he doesn't take offense. A group of older social butterflies (and a few moths) chats. The oldest of the group calls out, "Ollie!" Ooh, where's Sifl? "It's been too long! Come over here!" the old man hollers. God, I hope he's not a molester. That would be awkward. The seemingly much younger trophy wife of the old man seductively says, "Hi, Oliver!" I bet they had a thing. It's Mr. Westcott and his wife Candace. Indeed. Oliver introduces them to Lois. "Hey!" she says, jutting her hand out at them. Mr. Westcott calls himself "Simon" and kisses her hand. He says it's his pleasure. "Likewise!" says Lois, smiling at Oliver as if she just found a vein of gold up in the mountains and is proud of the fact. She tells "Simon" that she thought he was very eloquent at the Congressional indictment hearings. Westcott's smile fades. "Sorry about your oil tanker!" Lois sputters. "I'd hate to be a pelican in that harbor, huh?" The Westcotts are shocked and scandalized! The nerve! They are suddenly overcome by the vapors! "Well, we're gonna go," Oliver says immediately. "It's our cue, so...." He leads Lois away. You can't take that girl anywhere! And apparently you can take Lois out of The Talon, but you can't take the dumb asshole out of Lois. Oliver says that he forgot to mention "public humiliation" as a party don't. Oliver tells Lois that he's going to get them some drinks and asks her, in a slightly joking way, not to talk to anybody. It's tremendously good advice.