Episode Report Card
Omar G: B+ | 2 USERS: A+
Lex, Scrambled

Lex's procedure room. The juice comes back on, and Lex screams. His body shakes and bucks.

Clark tosses the Kryptonite rock like a soiled wine glass.

More Lex flailing. Papa Luthor and the doctor watch, concerned. Lex's eyes are wide and staring. The electrical current finally stops. "I don't know what happened," says the doctor. Nice. "Again," Papa Luthor says. The doctor advises that they should wait, since the equipment is acting flaky. "Do it," Papa Luthor commands, "again!" Wow. Bastard! The doctor flips a tiny switch, and Lex gets the shakes again.

Electricity room. Clark and Supernerd gaze at each other with hatred. Clark wipes away the blood from his cheek, where his wound has healed. "Tell me where Lex is!" demands Clark. Supernerd won't.

Lex's shakes get weaker and weaker. The machine stops, and Lex's eyes are closed and twitchy. Things aren't looking for our sexy man about town. Papa Luthor comes closer to his son's glowing body. The doctor removes the mouthguard. "Lex? Son?" says Papa Luthor.

In the hallway, Clark is superzipping toward Lex's torture room. He watches through the glass windows (again with windows?) as Papa Luthor says, "It's over." Close-up on Lex's twitchy eyes. Clark thinks, "I am gonna kick that Supernerd's ass, just for the hell of it."

Commercials. Ashton Kutcher has figured out a way to travel back in time. He's going to get with Demi Moore when she was twenty-five.

Poor Man's Wes Bentley is lying in a hospital bed and reading The Midwich Cuckoos, a book by John Wyndham about aliens coming to a small town and impregnating all the women, who then have Stepford-like children. Interesting. Lana comes in for a visit. She's got a pick-a-nick basket. PM'sWB asks if he's hallucinating: She's not using crutches. Lana says it's amazing what you can do when somebody's cracking a whip over your head. Oh, yes, Lana, please tell us all about slavery. Lana asks if PM'sWB is all right. He shows her the IV plugged into his hand and says he gets dehydrated from time to time. Shit, try some Gatorade, man! Lana walks around the bed, using a cane, and says she brought some desserts. She and PM'sWB flirt. He holds her hands and says he guesses this is goodbye. Lana says that just because her therapy is over doesn't mean she won't come back and visit. Why exactly is he still admitted? It sounded like he's been there for months, and nothing physical seems to be wrong. PM'sWB says he's a guy from a painful time in Lana's life; who'd want to be reminded of that? He severely underestimates Lana's ability to wallow. Lana turns the tables in predictable fashion and says that maybe PM'sWB isn't willing to push through the pain. PM'sWB says he likes Lana, but that he gets the feeling there's somebody else. He doesn't want to be caught in the middle. Hey, I hear the subway! Lana says that there's nothing to be caught in the middle of. With Lana it's more like being surrounded on every side in a pity party/gangbang. Lana says she's not ready to jump into another relationship. PM'sWB says he doesn't want to be a Rebound Boy. But he does want friendship. And friendship nookie. He and Lana agree to be friends. Friends who hold hands.

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