Episode Report Card
Omar G: B+ | 2 USERS: A+
Lex, Scrambled

Later, in Lex's isolated cell. (It's not the same padded room from when he was first put away, though.) I swear the sound effects from the beginning of Pink Floyd's "Welcome to the Machine" are playing as an attendant comes in through the metal sliding door to bring in some meds on a tray. "Get up, Curly," the guy says. Lex is lying down on a stainless-steel "bed." He doesn't move. Lex slowly gets up. He moves what looks like a paintbrush converted to a handy shiv. Lex looks up at the attendant and quickly shivs him in the leg. I love a good shiv on TV. The guy screams. Lex covers the guy's mouth and throws him against the wall. The choke hold! The guy falls. Lex takes the guard's tiny baton and keycard, and then lets himself out. Getaway music. Lex runs down the hall just as Barney, holding some towels, spots him. "Hey, Luthor!" Barney calls. Lex doesn't turn. He just extends his mini-baton and waits. Barney slowly comes over, telling Lex he's going to take him back to the room. Lex spins and brutally batons the guy four times about the knees and head. The camera follows Lex in circles as he tries to figure out what to do next. He makes for the unusually spacious and well-lit ventilation system. (Or is it just a secret hallway?) Lex makes it to the ground level as sirens blare. He sprints, barefoot. Two security vans give chase all the way to the barbed-wire fence as Lex tries to climb. He makes it to the top, grabs some barbed wire, and screams. Two guards shoot their Tasers at Lex, electrocufying him. He screams some more and falls to the ground as the currents surge over him. Ow. Lex, with a half-smile on his face, lies on the ground. Somebody checks his pulse. Somebody save him! Luckily, the opening credits echo my plea.

That's just the opening? I feel like I've already sat through an entire episode.

We come back to the wooden sign that says "Kent Farm." No cows in sight. In the Kent kitchen, Clark looks haunted. He says he's never seen Lex look so mad at him. Not even that time when Clark told him he's made up his mind and was gonna keep his baby. Clark says it's like he just went.... "Crazy?" Bo Duke asks. Ya think? MamaKent says that Clark can't take it personally. Clark says it's hard not to: Lex asked Clark to break him out. Bo asks if Clark said no. He did just that. Clark says that Lex tried to do it himself, and injured two guards on the way. Clark says that Lex doesn't belong in there, and that he's being drugged. MamaKent says that this isn't Lex's first "brush" with mental illness. Can you really call that a "brush"? Clark moans that Papa Luthor's never going to let Lex out. Bo says that Clark can't just break someone out of a state institution. Hasn't Clark already done that, like, four or five times? Bo says that Lex would be a fugitive with Clark's secret on the tip of his tongue. Just Clark's secret? Clark says that Pete (remember him?) knows Clark's secret, and that turned out fine. Bo says that Lex is different. Sexier. Less apt to have his scenes cut. Bo says that he doesn't think Clark should put his secret above Lex's well-being (isn't thatexactly what he's saying?); he just thinks Clark should stay out of it. Let all the other superheroes handle this one. Maybe call up Aquaman or the Green Hornet. Clark protests, but Bo smacks him down, saying that Clark could end up making things worse if he gets involved. Bo leans over Clark's shoulder to give MamaKent a kiss, and then he leaves for a hard day of loving his cows. Those cows aren't going to just love on themselves. MamaKent makes several concerned faces as she follows Clark down the foyer to the front door. She says he has another friend in a hospital he hasn't visited. Oh, but he goes to the hospital almost every day. Can't he take a day off? Clark says that Lana doesn't want to see him. MamaKent says she was in shock and didn't mean it. So MamaKent's Lana's spokesperson now? Clark says Lana's better off without him. MamaKent asks if Clark is better off. We are! MamaKent says that Clark can save the whole world, but that he's gotta take care of his own heart. Wait, does that mean busting Lex out? "Go see her," MamaKent pleads. Clark doesn't say anything.

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