Smallville

Episode Report Card
Tippi Blevins: B+ | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
(Almost) Everybody Loves a Hero

Daily Planet. For some reason, a box of Perry White's "personal mementos" is in the storage room. Lois sifts through it, finding mostly remnants of Perry's days as a peace-loving hippie. Chloe scampers into the room, looking like one-half of Spy vs. Spy. She's nervous about being there, afraid someone will recognize her. Girl, this is the Planet. These people are not that observant. You could cruise in there naked, moon everyone with "I am Chloe!" tattooed on your butt and they'd still be oblivious. She takes off her giant sunglasses and has her first genuine look around the room. "What's with all the Woodward and Bernstein?" "Actually, it's more like Perry and White," Lois says. "These are Perry's files!" "That explains the smell of Old Spice and young ambition," Chloe says. Lois explains her plan to go guerrilla in order to support the heroes. Chloe unnecessarily brings up bananas, then wonders how much good passing out pamphlets will do. Lois's idea is more modern than that, though. She asks Chloe to hack into a "couple" of news websites that become "all" websites when Chloe presses her for a specific number. They smile adorably at each other.

Clark is still at the crime scene, but he's moved to the top of what looks to be a three or four story building. From his vantage point, he watches cops milling around. Lucky for him, none of them look up. Oliver calls him. Clark tells him he's found the shooter's "crow's nest." There's a crossed-out S scratched into the metal flashing around the edge of the roof. Clark, having seen the symbol once before in Alexander's cell, instantly knows who the shooter is. "Don't worry, we'll find him," Oliver says. Naturally, Oliver walks through the doors of his LuthorCorp office at that very moment and finds Alexander standing there. There's an older gentleman kneeling in front of Alexander with a tape measure. "What the hell is this?" Oliver asks. Someone's either getting fitted for a new suit or about to film some porn. Lionel pops up from where he's been lounging on a sofa, reading through the dead Lionel's old journals. Oliver realizes the young fellow with the red pixie cut is Alexander. Lionel dismisses the tailor. Oliver threatens to people that Lionel is a fake, but Lionel's been working quietly to reclaim his assets for months now. He's bought LuthorCorp since Oliver's been in hiding. "You know, in this world you murdered my parents," Oliver says. "In mine, too," Lionel says in the tone of reminiscent of a cheerful kindergarten teacher, "and I had a very good reason!" Sadly, we do not get to hear that reason. When Oliver moves toward him, Lionel taunts him, tilting up his chin for Oliver to punch. Oliver stands down. Lionel says that Oliver's big mistake in stepping into the spotlight was trusting people. "They're vulgar, uneducated and stupid," he spits. The CW's like, "Hey, that's our target demo! Be nice!" Oliver has more faith in people, though. He thinks that the VRA will be repealed, but Lionel remains firm in his misanthropy. "You missed the mark, Green Arrow," Lionel says. "And now it's our turn," smarms Alexander. The show was better with Luthors in it, and I, for one, welcome our new evil overlords.

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Smallville

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