Smallville

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Omar G: B- | Grade It Now!
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Sun Gave All

Commercials. Transformers is out on DVD soon! I think we can all agree that this movie could have been really horrible. As it turns out, it was only slightly objectionable.

We pan up on a Dell laptop (with brown faux-leather on the outside?) and Chloe's face above it, crying. I still have a hard time believing Chloe wouldn't be using an Alienware or MacBook Pro laptop. Chloe is watching a video of herself and Lana. We don't see the actual video; we just hear them cavorting and giggling. Clark watches sadly from across Chloe's apartment. Chloe, still crying, says it's hard to concentrate with Lana gone. She stands up and hugs Clark. Clark's eye twitches, and he says there are a lot more people who could get hurt right now. Chloe says that denial should be their friend. She asks why Bizarro Clark replicated Clark instead of inhabiting him like the phantom did the others. Clark says that the phantom needed a Kryptonian body to become whole again. He adds, ominously, that he doesn't know how to stop this dude. He says it's not like he can just fly after the guy. "This guy can fly?" Chloe asks, "God, Clark, you gotta get on that one!" Ha! Best line of the episode, by far. Clark, afraid of heights, looks sheepish. She asks where Bizarro Clark is now. Clark says that before he hit the guy, his face distorted, like he was hurt. She asks why Clark's doppelgänger would weaken if he didn't. Clark thinks that everything affects him the opposite, like the strength he gets from Kryptonite. Chloe thinks Bizarro will go after more meteor rocks. Clark says that Oliver's been tracking Lex's Kryptonite shipments for his 33.1 experiments. That's a lot of experiments. The .1 is really just a science fair project. Chloe starts tapping away on the laptop. She somehow finds a record of a bunch of rocks transported to the dam a few weeks ago. I guess we're going back to the dam, huh? Damn. Chloe asks how they'll take him down if he gets to the Kryptonite first. Clark says he doesn't know, but that he is aware of someone who might have that knowledge. Dramatic music!

The Barnness of Badassitude. Hey, it's Martian Manhunter! The camera admires his torso, and we pan up to see his red glowing eyes. Hey, buddy, good to see you. Can I get you a bag of Oreos or something? Some milk? Clark, dressed down in a t-shirt compared to MM's awesome black leather jacket, asks how Martian healed himself so quickly the last time he left; he was pretty hurt. MM says he just left the Earth's atmosphere. Now it's time for the lecture. MM says that, while he was gone, Clark did what he's always trying to prevent: he unleashed a carbon copy of himself. Clark says, "Only without my--" Clark begins. "Humanity," Martian Manhunter finishes. Clark asks what he's supposed to do, let him kill all his hosts? Martian Manhunter says that this is the toughest trial Clark will face. (Tougher than conquering The Gay?) He says that Clark's humanity is his strength, but also his greatest liability. Yeah, we kind of know that. Haven't they been saying this for going on seven seasons? Clark whines that it's part of who he is: "And it's who I want to be! I'm proud that I was raised to care about people and I'm not gonna apologize for it anymore!" Also, he's good enough, smart enough, and gosh darn it, there's a small number of people who still like him! Martian Manhunter says that this creature was discarded at birth as a poor imitation (of Clark?). He says that the creature was shown no conscience or compassion: "He knows only one thing. Survival." If that were true, wouldn't he just go off and escape instead of continuing to try to kill Clark? Wouldn't that be a quicker path to survival than tempting fate? Clark asks how he can stop someone with all of his powers and none of his weaknesses. MM says that Clark can take advantage of what he takes for granted every day. The audience? MM gestures out the window. Clark walks over. MM says that compassion isn't all that gives Clark strength. "The yellow sun," says Clark. Yes, that one! Clark figures out that it was the sun that distorted Bizarro's face. MM says that it may be the only way Clark can defeat him: "I can help. But it's your battle." This is pretty much the only help Clark is going to get from him right now, incidentally.

The dam, buster. Lex and Bizarro Clark are wandering through its tunnels. Lex says that the meteor rocks should still be there. Lex points to a room. As Bizarro walks, Lex tries to be slick and pick up a big grenade launcher as he asks Bizarro, "I may have tracked you around the globe, but clearly you're not a native. Where are you from?" He wants to know why Bizarro only wanted to replicate Clark. Bizarro just walks toward Lex, saying that Lex has a decision to make. I think he just made it. Bizarro: "What's more important? Destroying me? Or solving the mystery of Clark Kent?" If Lex hasn't already solved the mystery of Clark Kent, he's got much bigger problems to worry about than this lunkhead. Lex's mouth works at a solution. Bizarro zips out of frame and appears behind Lex. Lex turns. Bizarro easily grabs the gun. "Wrong decision," he says. He smacks Lex in the chest, sending him flying comically against some weird giant green collapsible tubes. I half-expect Super Mario to come popping out of one. 1up!

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Smallville

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