Bizarro Clark grins, all full of evil and vengeance urine. He opens up a steel door to the glowing green stash. Hey, who decided to grow weed in here!? We see a familiar red shape whoosh across the broken dam. As Bizarro Clark enters the Kryptonite storage chamber, Regular Recipe Clark watches. Bizarro flexes his chest, and everything goes blurry as he powers up. Clark, outside, watches in horror. The green chamber is now white. I guess he drained all the good stuff.
Bizarro spins on Clark. His metal face flashes for a second. I thought that was only supposed to happen when he was weakened. And how did he fly before, in direct sunlight? This show makes no fucking sense. The two Clarks face off. Deep-voiced Bizarro says that Clark had every pleasure at his disposal and he wasted it. Clark is like, "Tell me more about these temptations. Are they in the phone book? Are they discreet?" Bizarro says that Clark doesn't deserve this life, but Bizarro does. Original Recipe Clark gulps. Bizarro makes a little hand motion for Regular Clark to come and get him: "Come on!" Regular Clark rushes at him. He jumps into the air and tries to bring down the hammer-hand. Bizarro Clark just sticks out his two fists and pushes them at Clark's breadbox. Ow! Regular Recipe Clark makes a hilarious face and goes flying backward. He sails through a column, causing more destruction. Bizarro comes toward him. Regular Clark is lying amid rubble and a bunch of warm-looking sunbeams. Aw, he's like a kitty! Bizarro gives him a disgusted look, and then walks away. Leaving him alive. Nonsensically. Original Clark wakes up, like, "I can't believe he left me alive!" He starts to get up. A bloody wound on the back of his hand instantly heals from the sunlight. Use the force, Clark! The force of...the, uh...sun! Triumphant music plays as Clark gets on one knee. We pan around his face, where another wound, this time on his cheek, heals. Bizarro is still walking away instead of using his powers to fly or zip off. "Hey!" calls Original Recipe Clark. Bizarro's super-hearing didn't clue him in that his greatest enemy is still scuttling about? Rubble is falling from the ceiling as Regular Clark asks, "Is that all you got?" You wouldn't think so, huh? Bizarro steps forward, into the sunlight. His face goes metallic. "You're no match for my strength," he whispers. Say it loud and proud, dude! Regular Clark smiles. Bizarro Clark rears back and punches Regular Clark in the face. Clark's mouth smooshes, like he's a character in Fight Night 3. Original Clark turns back to Bizarro. He uppercuts the dude, sending him flying through the ceiling. Bizarro Clark flies toward the sun, pieces of his face falling off in green chunks. As he's flying toward the sun, a red blur follows behind him. The red shape -- which if we looked closer, might be girl-shaped -- grabs Bizarro Clark and whisks him off to the side, away from the sun. Dodgy! Back in the dam, Clark smiles in triumph. It will be short-lived.
Commercials. The Season 6 DVD set! You can hear my voice on one of extras, fleetingly.