Commercials. John C. McGinley is rocking those Miller Lite commercials.
The P'Zone. Kara: Warrior Princess is carving something sharp out of a rock. Is this a dagger I see before me? Probably. Clark says he should have known that Brainiac put her there. Nice going, there, chief. Kara keeps whittling. Yeah, it's been a real picnic getting my ass handed to me by wraiths in this windstorm. Clark asks if she's all right. "I thought you were Zoners," she says. You know, like the Zoners that used to hang out behind the school smoking between classes. They all wore Converse high-tops. "Zoners kill," she says. Oh, that was just the teachers trying to scare you. Kara's really trying to rock those dread braids. It's not a great look. She tosses something to Clark. "For the blood," she says, "they can smell it." Did the Zoners take your ability to form cohesive sentences? Clark dabs at the blood on Lois's forehead. Kara asks what Clark was thinking, bringing Lois here. He says she was there when he touched the crystal. Touching the Crystal is my favorite '80s movie about skateboarding. Or maybe it was about masturbation. I forget which. Clark says they need to find a portal. Kara already has one: she says Zor-El built her an escape hatch. Clark asks her why she's still here if there's a portal available. Kara says she didn't want to let a bunch of monsters escape with her like the last time Clark got out. Clark admires her for staying in the P'Zone to protect human lives. She hands Clark her dagger. "Your lifeline," she says, "you lose it, you die." You can also phone a friend, but most of your friends are idiots. Why is Kara wearing space marine gear? Is there an S&M shop in the Phantom Zone? Leather 'n Leotards, it's called. Kara, standing over Lois, says that homegirl better be able to fight. Clark says it won't matter because they're sending her back. "How many innocent lives is she worth to you?" Kara asks. Can we use decimals? Clark, annoyed, asks why Kara is acting like this. "What happened to you?" he asks. Clark always asks, "What happened to you?" when someone disagrees with him, like they're somehow defective. Kara says it's what would have happened to Clark if he'd been forced to stay in the P'Zone for more than a day. He would have gotten crazy dreadlocks and worn rejected wardrobe from Max Max: Beyond Thunderdome? Kara says the portal will stay closed. Clark argues that Lois doesn't belong here. He says Lois isn't one of them. "I'll guard the gate, but she's going home!" Wanna yell that a little louder? I think Lois is waking up. Lois can't believe she's seeing Kara. She stands. "They've abducted you, too?" she asks. Clark and Kara exchange annoyed glances. Stupid humans.